Maya asks: I’ve been dating for six years, and now things are complicated. I moved on already but he only knew that I was giving him a break. What should I do?
Hi Maya –
It sounds to me like you’re saying that he isn’t really clear on how you’re feeling. And I’m going to guess that that’s because it’s so hard for you to say something that you know will hurt his feelings. A lot.
And I’m afraid I have bad news: You simply are going to HAVE to tell him the truth. But you can still be kind in how you say it. Something like “You know you’ve meant the world to me, and I’ll always love you, but I’ve moved on. I’m looking to date other guys. What we had was wonderful, but we grew apart in a lot of ways. And I want something different now.”
Sometimes it takes even more. Like having to put rules out there, “You can’t call me, or even text me, till I tell you it’s okay.” But hopefully you won’t have to do that.
But I still have to be honest with you – there’s no way it’s going to be easy for him to let you go after six years. No matter how old you two are, that’s a big chunk of your lives. (In my years that’s 42!!!)
I wish you the best of luck with this. My only wish is that you try to be as kind as you can, while being clear. He deserves that.