Grace asks: Me and this boy are talking, but I don’t know if he’s into me and I don’t know how to ask. It seems like he is, but maybe that’s just how he is. I don’t know if we talking is a “thing” or just normal? Do I ask a friend to ask him? How do I know if he actually likes me?
Hi Grace –
I love to brag about how much better we dogs are than you humans, in this regard. If I like someone, my tail wags when I see them, I run up and jump on them, lick their faces, run around in circles, and bring them toys. Even people I frighten can tell I really really like them!
But then I look at my friend Aria, another dog who’s been abused and abandoned, and… she’s not like me. She’s scared of everyone, even people she likes. Even when her human comes home, who just adores her, she sometimes cowers. So if you met her, she might keep down on the ground, nervously watching you. You’d have no idea whether she wanted to lick you or bite you, and you’d be right to hesitate (She’s a sweetheart, but you should always be cautious with dogs who are hard to read).
So maybe we dogs can be difficult too.
Anyway, the good news is this boy isn’t going to bite you in the face. He clearly enjoys you and wants your company.
But you just don’t know how he enjoys you! Is he shy? Is he being strategic? Is he just interested in you for conversation? You simply don’t know.
But he also doesn’t know how you feel about him. And neither do I. (though I have a guess!)
So my thought is for you to
start trying to steer the conversation to topics that might lead him forward. For example, you start talking about that new X-Men movie, and mention that you really want to see it, or another flick. Does he ask you out to it? If yes, then great. But if not, does he seem interested in seeing it too? Then maybe you could throw out “We ought to see that together.” And see how he responds to that.
Do you see what I’m doing? I’m looking for any way you can make it easier for him to step forward.
And as you do that, he ought to show more of his true colors. Is he interested in spending time with you? Is he excited at the prospect? Does he then start to stutter or do dumb things because his brain’s exploding at the realization that you’re actually going to be together?!
Or does he calmly avoid having too much contact, make excuses, change the subject… in which case, maybe he’s just not all that interested.
But I’m guessing he is. At least I hope so.
Give him opportunities and see how he reacts. I can tell you, when that stranger Aria’s afraid of pulls out a leash and offers her a walk, she’s suddenly the happiest pup in the world and their new best friend!