How to tell if someone – who has another boyfriend or girlfriend – is interested in you

Otaku asks: There’s a boy I know who has a girlfriend and has been in a relationship for more than 2 years. But she’s out of city permanently. And now they’re in a long-distance relationship. He and I have been hanging out for few weeks because we’re friends and there’s event coming up . Our club’s organizing it. And there was a time we stayed at our friend’s house and we slept in the same bed and he hugged me. I don’t know if he did that while he was just asleep or it was on purpose. Another time, when he was sleeping in another bed, I noticed he didn’t hug anyone – but he again hugged me and touched my lips the next time we were on a sleepover. So does that mean he likes me? I’m confused. He has a girlfriend.

Hi Otaku –

         Well I don’t know him at all, of course, but I sure have a guess about this! 

         Let’s imagine that I was at that night at that friend’s house.  That my human Handsome had dropped me off there, maybe when he flew off to meet with his family.  And when the night got late, and I got sleepy, I climbed up onto your bed and curled up.  And you got in under the covers… I would absolutely cuddle up to you, soak up your body warmth, and probably give you a number of licks, both to thank you for being there and to make sure you liked and trusted me.

         Then when Handsome came back, I’d be thrilled to see him, and run right into his car, eager to go home with him.

         So would I have liked you?  Sure!  You’re great, and you smelled good, and you let me sleep on your bed. 

         But would that mean I’d have left Handsome for you?  Not a chance.

         So my guess is that you’re seeing something like that.  He hugged you, and touched your lips, because he likes you, and maybe because he’s very attracted to you.  But he still has the long-distance girlfriend.


         Long-distance relationships are hard, and usually don’t last.  So my big question is

Are you interested in him?! 

         Because if you are, he might be ready to end that relationship, and to pair up with the lovely girl he hugged and cuddled with. 

         Maybe he’s not, but you sure have the right to make a play for him, given his behaviors those nights. 

         And if you’re really brave, one way you could do it is to, the next time this happens, just plant a big kiss right on his lips and see what happens. 

         At the very least, he’ll likely be very flattered, and you can have some fun with that.  But maybe he’ll start thinking “You know, I really like having a warm body next to me, and lips on my lips.  And maybe it’s time to let this other relationship go, as wonderful as it’s been.”

         I don’t know for sure.  But if you’re wanting it, I think it’s worth a try!

         Best of luck!


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