Jhalli asks: I ‘m fond of watching romantic dramas and web series and reading romantic novels. There are several love stories I saw. I feel that hopefully, these love stories can happen in my life also. My friends say I’m living in a fantasy world. Is it possible that love stories can happen in the real world or maybe in my life, like in the series? Does a pure love exist in the real world also?
Hi Jhalli –
Well I hope it’s not breaking news when I tell you that rarely is real life as pretty as it exists on the screen. I’m no judge of human beauty, but I do know that the world is full of hospitals and there isn’t one where the whole staff is as good-looking as they are on Grey’s Anatomy! So if you’re asking if real life is going to give you romances with perfect gorgeous people who never sweat or have a runny nose or get spinach stuck in their teeth… then no. Sorry to disappoint.
But if you’re asking if love, wild love, passionate love, timeless love, crazy love, lovely love, can exist, I am here to tell you it absolutely can and does.
As a first example, I’ll use myself. Now the love between a dog and a person might not be what you had in mind from those novels, but believe me, my Handsome and I are CRAAAAAAAZY about each other. We think of each other all the time, we love the touch and sight and smell of each other… and we are so close that when one of us gets hurt or sick, the other develops the symptoms. One night I was attacked by an angry dog, and that whole night, Handsome kept waking up from nightmares where it was him getting attacked! And he often coos into my ear, “No one has ever loved anything more than I love my knucklehead!” And I think he’s right.
But when it comes to love between humans… There’s a reason those romance stories have been so popular for the history of humanity, and that’s that yes, they are based in a reality. People do fall in love with each other, people do stay faithful to each other…
And yes, real life also offers uncountable complications! Love can be one-sided, a person can betray their lover, people cheat, people lose interest, people become less attractive… all these things happen all the time.
But aren’t those exactly what happens in those books and movies and series you adore? (Otherwise the stories would be really dull: “He and she met and fell in love and never looked at another person and lived in total happiness till they died a century later.” Borrrrrrring!)
The trick for you is, when you find someone to have a relationship with, to love them as much as you can, including their faults and their annoyances. And to believe you’re in a great love story. If you do, then you’ll be right – you’ll be in just that!
One of the most wonderful love stories ever filmed is a movie from 1955 called Marty. It’s about lonely people, not gorgeous, not sophisticated, struggling to achieve love. Then, to my eyes, the greatest love story ever filmed (around the same time) – you’ve probably seen it, Lady and the Tramp – isn’t about people at all!
When you find it, Love may not look like the way they describe it in those novels. But love isn’t about looks. It’s about what’s in hearts.
Another great film, The Wizard of Oz, has the amazing line in it, “Hearts are judged, not by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others.” It’s very true – we judge hearts based on how we see them. But if you can love someone, love them fully, love them kindly, and be loved back as well, with both of you devoting yourselves to making the relationship work… then who cares how others judge you! You will have as great a love as any fairy tale ever.
I know. I live one.
May you find as much happiness as I have, my friend!