Bubblegum asks: Presently I have a boyfriend and yes I love him a lot and he also loves me a lot. But the problem is that love is not enough. He never gives me time as he is a student of chemistry honors. Ok he is really busy I understand. But now I don’t know why even when he gets time he doesn’t text me. He never texts me on whatsapp. He told that he has some family problem, but he is always like that. Another boy is there he is really caring romantic and perfect and he even loves me a lot. But as I am in a relationship I can’t start a relationship with him. Yes maybe I also have a soft corner for him. But what can I do?
Hi Bubblegum –
I have a problem here. I see this all the time with couples. One member says “We never talk, he calls me maybe once a day,” and the other says “We talk all the time, at least once a day!” So when you say “he never gives me time,” I wonder what that means. It sounds like he doesn’t like texting, but is it truly that he’s not giving you time, or that the time he gives isn’t the amount you need?
The big difference between them is about his feelings. If he adores you, and is giving you all the time he feels he can, then that’s one thing. But if he’s using his studies as an excuse to avoid you, that’s something very different!
However, the solution is really the same. You just need to let him know (if this is the case) that you need more time from a relationship. And if he can’t give you the time you need, you might have to find another romance.
That’s tough, I know. But it will likely create one of two reactions. If he sighs and says, “You know what, you’re right. I’m not able to be enough for you right now. I’m sorry, and I hope we can stay friends,” then great – go check out this other guy.
But if he gets upset, and says “No, you can’t! I’m sorry, I just have this exam in two weeks, and after that I’ll take you away for the weekend! And I promise I’ll text more, even though I hate texting! You’re everything to me, Bubblegum, and I don’t know what I’d do without you!” – if he says that, I’d say he deserves another try!
But both of them depend on you admitting your needs to him.
And if reading this makes you shudder, and you’re thinking “Hey I don’t need that much time from him! It’s not worth risking the relationship!” Then maybe you need to give him more understanding and accept that you’re with a busy, hardworking guy, and maybe that’s actually okay.
Believe me, whatever you choose, it’s better than having your human leave you locked up in a yard five days a week when he goes off to work! And it doesn’t matter whether he texts or not – since dogs don’t have phones!
Here’s hoping for the best!
Shirelle