How to win over someone who ‘just wants to be friends.’

Mandip asks: I have been mad about a girl for 5 months. I love her too much. Every single second she is present in my mind. In the office I spend the maximum of my time with her. We also used to hang out. Sometimes she cooks food for me also. She has a boyfriend but he lives 500 km away. Recently another guy showed interest in her, and I can see she is interested in him as well. He is also in a different location (on-site but same office). That’s why this week I also confessed my feelings to her, but she says we are good as friends. I wrote a poem also for her. How can I impress her and get her?

Hi Mandip –



You’re in a tough position. You haven’t done anything wrong, and your feelings are just wonderful. But because you work in the same office, and she has already told you that she wants to be ‘just friends,’ there’s not a lot you can do right now to win her.


Your best bet is to be the best friend you can. It’s going to be very difficult for her to make that long-distance relationship work, so either it does continue (which means it’s a better relationship than you’re realizing), or it will dissolve – which would make her available.


For you to keep pushing right now (say, giving her the poem you wrote) could come off as harassment and get you in trouble with your work, so I don’t recommend that.


But for you to keep being the wonderful friend you are, and in particular to make sure you’re better than that other guy who’s been showing interest in her – those might work out to help her look at you differently.


And although you’re only interested in her right now, your dating other women could help her see you in a more romantic context too.


I wish things weren’t as difficult as they are. We dogs don’t mind it at all if another dog jumps on us and gives us a lick. But you’re a human, with a job, and so I have to recommend you play it very very cool.


But I’m sending you all the GOOD LUCK wishes I can!



About the Author

Leave a Reply 0 comments

Leave a Reply: