What to do if your boyfriend or girlfriend has another girlfriend or boyfriend.

Blck-pantha asks: My lover has another girlfriend. He claims he doesn’t love her, only loves me, but what should I do? Should I break up or remain, hoping he’ll break up with her?

Hi Blck-pantha –


So I’m a dog.  We are very loyal, in our way, but it’s different from you guys.  If a human has two dogs, then we’ll be okay with that person giving love to both of us.  While most people aren’t comfortable in that situation.


But not all.


Some people like sharing their special person with others.  Some people like being able to date more than one person at once.  They feel more free, less pressured.  And there’s no reason why they should have to live in a different way than they want.


Unless they’re lying or cheating.


You see, I’m a lot more interested in integrity and kindness than I am in any particular rules.  I want you to be treated in a respectful and loving way.  If you’re okay with having what they call an “open relationship,” then fine.  But only if you’re okay with it.




So you ask me if you should break up with him or stay, hoping he leaves her.  Here’s my problem:  If he does, will you trust him to remain faithful to you?  He’s already told you he’s fine with having another girlfriend, even saying he doesn’t actually love her.  So why would you ever trust that he’d be there for you.  Especially if… what if he did fall in love with another woman?  It’s hard to imagine he’d be faithful to you then when he’s not now.


So I know love follows its own rules.  But my advice would be to toss him out like a dead squirrel, and see if he comes back to you, begging you to take him back, and cutting that other woman out of his life.  If so, then fine, maybe he’s worth it.  But if he doesn’t, then you’ll know you did the right thing.


And here’s the big deal – you’ll be better off no matter what happens.  If you win him back, and he’s willing to be exclusive with you, then great, you got what you wanted.  If you find you’re single and available, that sounds a lot better – at least you won’t have all this bad treatment going on.


And if you’re single and meet another guy who treats you better and values you the way you deserve… oh then that’ll be fantastic!


Good luck with it.  I know this is hard.  Sending you all the strength I can.


All my best,


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