What to do when your boyfriend or girlfriend keeps contact with their ex

Jessie asks: There’s this guy, and we really like each other, though we are not dating. Before, he had this thing with a girl but now that I ask him about it, he says he doesn’t like her at all (and that she is weird and attention seeking etc). He even says that he replies to her texts at times but isn’t very keen in conversing with her. However, I see him reacting ‘love’ on ALL her pictures on Facebook. Like EVERY picture. I can’t talk to him about it. Do you think something is fishy?

Hi Jessie –

 

To quickly answer your question, sure something is fishy. But please understand that, as a pooch, something smelling of old fish sounds delightful to me!

 

I have absolutely no idea what he’s doing. He might be doing a really bad job of trying to hide his interest in her from you (Really?! He doesn’t think other people see Facebook?!). Or he might just be a friendly supportive guy who’s trying to be nice by giving her the attention he feels she needs, having no idea how it looks to you.

 

After all, if my special human Handsome were to get jealous of all the love I give all you guys, he’d have tossed me out to the street years ago!

 

My sense would be to keep watching him. See how he acts around you, and around others. And if you get the chance, see how he acts around her!

 

Handsome just reminded me of a funny story he told me years ago. He was starting to date a woman at his school, and both wanted to keep the other students from knowing about it. One night there was a party, and he was socializing, being friendly, and at some point someone walked up to him and said “It’s clear you’re dating her.” He asked how they knew. It was because she was the only woman at the party he didn’t hug and kiss when they greeted; she was the one he just walked up to and talked to.

 

I’m telling you this because it’s possible this guy’s putting all those “Loves” on FB means absolutely nothing to him. That he’s just being a goofy sort of friendly (kind of like me!). But of course it’s also possible he is madly in love with her and just lying to you about it. I don’t know.

 

So again, the best I can suggest is to keep your eyes open.

 

And let me know what you find!!!

 

Cheers,
Shirelle

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