Wazenga asks: Hi, I met this guy on a dating site, and we’ve been chatting for a couple of months. He broke up with his wife before they got married, and I am divorced. So although we’ve never met, we communicate very early every morning , tea time or lunch time, before we go home, when we got home, talk about what we going to eat, he likes to ask me what must he cook for his evening. He works at the United Nations, always calling me when he gets to work, if he’s not in the meetings… We sometimes fight like any other relationships, but he will call and apologize and tell me that he doesn’t wanna lose me not now or ever. Then he told me that he wants us to take it easy… So do you think I can trust him? And on the day we meet, what/which questions must I ask him in other to be on the right side of this relationship, since I also feel that I do love him so much?
Hi Wazenga –
United Nations?! Wow!! That is COOL!
But I’ll try to take the stars out of my eyes and focus on your real question – which is what to do when you meet someone you’ve created a relationship with online.
Ah, you humans! You make everything so complicated! We dogs never start relationships online – we always base them on sniffing! And smell tells us a great deal – about mood, history, and even someone’s diet! I’m so sorry for you folks stuck with just words and images! (After all, even those pack members who’ve been here for years don’t know what I smell like – and I’m YUMMY!)
So I think you have one biggest question of all to answer, which is (I hate to say it, but) whether everything he’s told you is true. Can he show you where he works? Introduce you to his friends, or family? And can you do the same for him? (Have to admit, I don’t quite understand that thing of breaking up with his wife before they married – how is that possible?)
Humans, unlike dogs, can lie. And there’s no way you two will be able to trust the other enough for a real romance until you are both sure of who the other is.
So I’d start there. But of course, neither of you will be able to prove yourselves at that first meeting. So I’d suggest you make plans for some time to do all that proving, but then, when you do first meet… I’d say to soak each other up. See what he looks like in 3-D, in person! Listen to his voice! Feel the touch of his hand. And yes, smell him. While you humans are way more thought-centered than we are, you still have gut instincts that can tell you a lot from that actual meeting.
And then? I’d say to talk about everything you haven’t talked about yet! Music, movies, your favorite colors, whatever!
THIS IS SO EXCITING! Anything you talk about will be amazing!
Please let me know how it goes!
Here’s Hoping it’s even better than you imagine!