What to do when someone you’re interested in wants to hold off on a relationship till has have a job

sassy_tango_tree_ asks: I have feelings for this guy. And he admitted he likes me too. But he told me he doesn’t want a relationship until he has a job. That was okay between us. But then this guy acted distant and I am confused.

Hi sassy_tango_tree_ –


Of course, I don’t know anything about this guy, but your question sounds to me like he’s being pretty straight-forward with you.  He said he likes you but he’s not up for a relationship yet, and then he pulled away a bit.  That makes sense to me.


But I’ll add something else.  I will never forget a very tough couple of years when my human, Handsome, was struggling to find work.  He was frustrated, unhappy, and felt just awful about himself.  And that even led to him caring less about me, finding my enthusiasm and affection (which he normally LOVES) kind of annoying.  It was, for me, the worst time we ever had together.  Very very painful.


But once he changed careers, and things started to go his way, he got much happier, and started valuing me more and treating me better.


You see, he’d never stopped loving me.  But he was in a depression, which meant he couldn’t show and feel his love the way he had before.


And I’m wondering if this guy is in the same shape.


If so, then my advice is to be the best friend he has.  Be the one who’s always supportive, who encourages him when the whole world tells him No.  And if so, when things get better for him (and I’m sure they will), he’ll value you the way Handsome valued me.  And then all that liking he already had for you can explode into what you’ll really deserve.

Which is what I get from Handsome every day:  LOVE.


Best of luck to both of you!




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