How to pursue someone who’s studying all the time.

Nymeria asks: I met a girl a few months ago, she’s sweet, beautiful, smart, she’s perfect to me. We used to talk a lot, but everything changed in an instant. She always told me she’s been studying for her board exam, and this was her only reason for not replying back to me. And I was thinking, could it really be the only reason why she doesn’t talk to me anymore? I don’t know what I should do.

Hi Nymeria –


There’s a lot I don’t know from your question.  How long has it been since she stopped replying?  How long had you two been talking before that?  And, maybe biggest of all, when was/is that exam?


Of course, anything is possible, but I can’t help but have one thought, based on my own experience.  My human friend Handsome had to take some board exams a few years ago, and assumed he’d pass them pretty easily.  And when he turned out to fail one of them – without any idea of why – he flipped right out!  He got depressed, went through a period of shock, had to try to figure his whole life out… and eventually was fine.


So is it possible this girl did take that exam, and failed it, and has withdrawn from the human race for a while – including from you?


Again, I’m not sure if that’s it.  But it sure would explain her sudden shift.


In the meantime, the best I can suggest for you to do is to reach out to her just enough that she can’t possibly think you’re not reaching out to her.  And then, if she’s still not responding, to give her the space that she seems to be asking for.


And if something’s just gone wrong, and she’s interested in still talking with you, then she’ll show up soon enough.


And if it’s something else – if she’s interested in another person, or decided she wants to change her whole life around, or whatever…  then you’ll have already moved on, and will be able to find someone else, who responds more, and appreciates you the way you deserve to be appreciated.


All my best,



About the Author

Leave a Reply 0 comments

Leave a Reply: