What to do when your life makes no sense to you

Foolwhodream asks: I’m having a hard time. I don’t understand what is happening in my life and I’m living blindly. I feel like I’m not worth living in this world, what should I do to let good things happen in my life?

Hi Foolwhodream –


Of course, I don’t know anything more than what you tell me in your letter, so I don’t know what you’re having the hard time with, or what actually is happening in your life.  So I can’t speak to those (except to say that I watch humans a lot and it sure seems to me that all seven billion of you feel this way at times!).


What hurts my heart is when you say you feel like you’re “not worth living in this world.”  It reminds me of a movie Handsome showed me once, where a man believes everyone would be better off if he’d never lived, and an angel comes to show him what his world without him would be like.  I can tell you, that world is not good!  And I have a strong feeling that every “fool who dreams” makes the world around them better, so, for starters, let me just say I THINK YOU’RE WRONG about that part!!!


But to your question, about what to do to let good things happen in your life?  That’s a great question.   Especially as I see people all the time who seem to be doing everything possible to keep good things out of their lives.  So how to make things better?  Here are some ideas to try:


1)     Reach Out to Others.  There’s a line from an old musical I like to quote a lot, that instead of worrying about whether other people like you or not, you should just try liking them.  I find that people (and dogs) who’ve experienced rejection tend to assume everyone around them thinks they’re not good enough.  And the solution, as any happy pup can tell you, is that if you’re able to move past those fears and be friendly (even if that’s a fake-it-till-you-make-it deal), you’ll find others like you a lot, which will make you feel much better.

2)     Do Things You Care About.  Everyone has tons of things they are supposed to do.  And of course there are lots of things that are fun to do too.  But doing those probably won’t make you feel better about yourself or bring anything special into your life.  But if you can find an issue you really care about, and a way to work on it, that will likely accomplish both.  Is there a cause that concerns you?  Is there a group you love that needs help?  Is there something in the world that’s just breaking your heart these days?  If the answer to any of these is yes, then search to see what you can do to help them.  Maybe you can volunteer some time every week, or maybe you can only put in some time on one day.  But either way, you’ll feel good about having helped make the world better, and you’ll have a great chance of meeting people who share your values.  Which always feels good.

3)     Do a Self-Audit.  Do you know the word “audit?”  That’s when someone, like maybe the tax department, checks out all your records to see if you’ve been doing everything correctly.  Well, what about doing an audit on yourself?  Maybe try writing down, for one week, everything you spend time doing.  So for me, it would be “Woke up.  Licked Handsome’s face.  Scratched.  Chased squirrels.  Scratched more.  Barked at passersby.  Wrote a letter to Foolwhodream.”  Now I think that’s a pretty terrific day, but others might look at that and say “I spent too long chasing squirrels” or “If I got some ointment, I wouldn’t have to scratch so much, and I could devote that time to reading.”  What are you doing that you like, and that you don’t?  Try an audit and see if you can find things that you can change, to make your life better.

4)     Read Good Stuff!  Movies and music and TV and the Internet are all fine and good.  But I find that what really shifts humans’ energies is reading.  What sort of book would be good for you?  If you’re bored, maybe a fun thriller.  If you’re feeling detached from the world, maybe a newspaper or a book on current events.  And as you work to feel better in life, maybe a self-help book like The Secret or The Power of Positive Thinking or The Seven Habits of Highly-Effective People… or my favorite, The Teachings of Shirelle!  Now that’s a book that’ll teach you LOTS about how to live a happy life!

5)     Which leads, of course, to my biggest answer: How can you let good things into your life?  GET A POOCH!  We dogs are the best friends, the best therapists, the best companions the world’s ever created.  We’ll cheer you up when you’re down, we’ll get you to go outside when you’re feeling stuck, and we will always tell you how important and wonderful you are to us.  The human world’s not so good at that.  But we are, always.


I hope some of this helps, Foolwhodream.  Anything that feels right at all, I’d suggest you do as much as possible.


And please write back, and let me know how it’s going.  I promise, life can get way way better.


All my best,


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