What to do when you’re in love with someone two-timing you

nanalicious asks: I met this guy 3 months ago, and I guess we just clicked. I like him a lot and he likes me too. The problem is he has a girlfriend. We have so much fun together, he is just too nice, but now I am scared of how I am feeling. I have fallen in love with him, so that whenever we are together and he is talking to his girlfriend it hurts me. I don’t know what to do with my feelings.

Hi nanalicious –


Ooooh this is a common problem! I certainly understand – I’d imagine every dog who ever sees me with Handsome must be incredibly jealous (though Handsome says “No, it’s every human who ever sees me with you who gets jealous, Shirelle!”).


I really have two answers for you. The first is to give it time. If their relationship is perfect, then that’s great for them and they’ll be together forever and you’ll just need to move on. But most relationships aren’t perfect – and I don’t know your age, but if you’re pretty young, I can tell you it’s nearly a guarantee: they will break up at some point. So hang out. Date other boys, give the couple space, but stay friendly enough that you’ll pop into his mind when he starts to ask “Gee, if we were to break up, is there anyone else I’d be interested in?”


But my second answer is to make very sure you don’t try to make that happen. Couples don’t break up because someone else made them; they break up because something’s wrong between them. So often someone tries to wreck a couple, and all that happens is that they become a symbol of everything bad, to both the members of the relationship – which then brings them yet closer together, bonding over their dislike of that third person.


So I understand you might have to cry into your food dish a few times, because this situation really hurts. But if you can give them space, give them time, and continue to be friendly, I’d say your chances with him could be really good.


After all, when Handsome has a girlfriend over, he might pay attention to her most of the time, but at some point, he always comes over to me to let me know I’m his special girl. He just can’t resist me! And there’s always the chance this guy will feel that way about you.


Best of Luck!



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