How to deal with your girlfriend’s/boyfriend’s annoying family members

Snowman asks: So me and my girlfriend have been together for 2 years. About 1 year in I met one of her family friends and the first thing he does is insult me by saying he wouldn’t talk to anyone less intelligent than him and ignores me from there. He did this directly in front of my girlfriend and she didn’t react at all to it. So I let it slide and after he left I confronted her about it. She apologized and understood that I didn’t like him at all. So several months pass and I’ve pretty much never talked to him. When my birthday comes, due to a serious of unlucky events, my girlfriend has to leave for a bit and I’m forced to wait for this man and guide him to her. It naturally ruined my day. So afterwards I tell my girlfriend that I want to skip dinner and just lay down but we end up going to dinner anyways. We ultimately got into a small argument and she tried to break up with me a few days later. Ps this was at a time where we could barely see each other. It’s been on my conscience for a while now because I felt bad for being in a bad mood that day. Was my reaction unreasonable?

Hi Snowman –


I can’t really answer your question as it is. You see, you’ve told me lots of reasons for you to be annoyed (ANYBODY would be, having to deal with that jerk!), but you didn’t really tell me what your reaction was. Except that you two had “a small argument.”   So I can’t really tell you if you were unreasonable or not.


Now if you mean to ask if it’s unreasonable for you to have been bothered by that guy’s comment and his ignoring you, then no, I think you didn’t do enough! I wish, when he said “I don’t talk with people less intelligent than me,” you’d said, “Well that’s nice, you’ve got about seven billion people you can’t talk with!” Or, more simply, “Wow, have you ever met one?”


Now if you try to stay with this woman, there’s an easier choice, which is to realize that he’s an idiot, and not let his stupidity bother you. For example, when people come to our house, I always want to play with them. But if any dislike dogs and don’t want to do anything with me, I’ve learned not to let their dopiness hurt my feelings. I just ignore them. Then they’re happier, and I am too (because I’m off playing with people who understand how fun life can be!).


So I hope this dingdong didn’t manage to ruin your relationship. Because he’s not worth it. But if he hasn’t, then yes, my advice is to give him less respect than you have. By not letting him bother you at all.


Best of luck,



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