How to help your spouse when their family has drama

percy asks: It’s been about 23 years since my sister-in-law filed court legal action against her two sisters due to a house sharing financial issue. During those hardship passing years, my disowned sis in-law only contacted me in which I pleaded with her to contact her family, which she refused to do so. When my wife tried to speak to her on the phone, sis in-law hanged up immediately. I had enough and told her not to call us anymore. Now, recently my sis in-law made contact with her mother. Fine, but… she refuse to apologize to her sisters. My wife wants to invite her to our family Xmas gathering as a let bygones be bygones or forgive and forget, which I believe is a big mistake. Her sisters are full of hate toward her. One of her sisters got a divorce because of that issue. It could turn nasty and could end up deadly. Those stories about family member killing family member at holiday gatherings.

Hi percy –


This is a tough one. While you are your wife’s husband, you’re still not a member of the original family. And they’re going to need to work out their stuff as they see best. And it will almost certainly involve some drama – you’re right!


On the other hand, this might be the only chance for these women to move on from the awful events of their past. Especially the sister who got the divorce, she probably needs a chance to speak her mind to her sister!


So as far as any advice I can give, I’d say to do what I’d do, or any other dog. Go ahead and attend the Christmas family event. And if the sister who filed the legal action shows up, be polite, but keep your distance. Let the women do what they need to do.


But don’t leave. And if anyone tries to do anything physical, be a pit bull and get in there and stop it.


But if no one does, just stay in the corner, watching everyone, and preparing to give your wife, who’ll be a wreck afterwards, all the love in your heart.


Let me know what happens!


All my best,




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