Should a teen move in with a difficult parent?

Epic1999 asks: I really want to move with in with my dad so I would live close enough to get to see this boy I like every day and we can go to the same school. But my dad and I don’t get on that well, and I don’t want to live with someone who I don’t get on with because it will get me stressed and that could put me in hospital – because I suffer from panic attacks. And second, I don’t want to move for this boy and then break up with him, because my mum won’t have me back if I move. What should I do?

Hi epic1999 –

Of course I don’t know enough to speak with any definitiveness on this, but my sense is that, as much as you’d like to live near this boy, it might not be worth it.  I mean… panic attacks?!  Hey those are miserable!  And if you’re living scared of those all the time, you won’t be able to relax enough to enjoy the relationship you moved there to have!   But on the other hand, is it possible that your moving there could help you create a better relationship with your dad?  If you did, then that would be a true win-win; you’d get the fun of the boyfriend and the lifelong joy of a better relationship with your father.

So my advice would be this:  If you think it’s worth trying, have a talk with your dad.  Talk about your concerns, about what compromises you two could make to get along, and about what you two could do that would be fun and great – better than you two ever had before.  If you find that that conversation goes well, it might be worth the gamble.  But if that conversation doesn’t go well – or if you simply can’t even bear the idea of having that talk — stay with your mom, and see the boy when you can.  Life’ll be a lot better.  Especially given your mum’s threat, which only adds MORE stress to what’s already a stressful situation.

Good Luck!


About the Author

Leave a Reply 0 comments

Leave a Reply: