Monthly Archives: November 2011

0 What to do about outspoken children

Buffy asks: My daughter is very outspoken. It gets her in trouble in school with her teachers. What should I do?

Hi Buffy –

What a great great question!  It gets to the heart of so much!

You see, I think it’s just GREAT when kids are outspoken!  You’ve probably heard of the rule that was common about a hundred years ago, “Children should be seen and not heard.”  Well I disagree with that completely!  I think kids are brilliant and honest and hilarious, so I think they should be heard even more often!  (Of course I especially think children should mostly be smelled, but I know most humans don’t!)

But I also realize that there are humans who don’t share my view on this.  More importantly, it’s also really important that children are in school, they learn the appropriate behaviors there, which include sitting still, raising their hands, speaking respectfully, and only speaking when allowed.  And the reason these behaviors have to be taught is that they are completely unnatural for Continue reading

1 How to read mixed signals from someone you love

xxxDarkMusicLoverxxx asks: A couple of days ago I realized that I am in love with my best friend. But he recently moved away. He’s in love with someone else but she has a bf. Before he left he asked if he could hold my hand to make his ex jealous; he kept on bugging and bugging me then I said just grab it and we held hands. Then I saw my ex and I was pissed off and he said we should go over there and make out in front of them. I asked why and he said it would be funny. But we didn’t do it. So I need help – I don’t know what to do. Also, since it’s fall break, we text a lot. Also for like 3-4 nights I had dreams of him. He said he’s been thinking of me a lot (along with all the other friends he had to leave behind). He has no idea that I am in love with him. What do I do? I want to be with him, but he told me one time that he doesn’t like long distance relationships. So… I want to be with him, but I am scared to get hurt. But I want him to be happy even if I can’t be happy. Please help me! :/

Hi xxxDarkMusicLoverxxx –

Thanks for your question about your best friend.

Well, I could be wrong, but I only see two possibilities here:  Either this guy truly doesn’t see you in a romantic way, or he’s pretending that he doesn’t!

If it’s the first, you’re in a tough predicament – and you might even be better off that he’s moved away.  Because it’s really tough to be in love with someone who doesn’t love you back, especially if you two hang around a lot together.  So your job is to move on.  You can still have the feelings you have for him, but you need to find other people to care about (just think of how many girls are in love with Justin Continue reading

0 How to overcome fear of speaking

Eiei asks: I have something wrong in speaking in public. Most people aren’t interested in me when I am speaking. They change the subject. And I think most people aren’t really friendly to me. And then I’m scared by stress. I don’t want to get low marks at University. But trying to attend it, and scared about it. I hope you will help me. Thank you!

Hi Eiei –

You have probably heard the statistic.  Consistently, when groups of people are asked what they fear most, “Public Speaking” wins.  Even over things like Torture and Death!

As a dog, I don’t really have this issue.  The only public speaking I ever do is barking to grab attention.  “Hey there’s someone at the door!”  “Hey squirrels, stay away from my house!”  “Hey doggy across the street, notice me!”  Once I have their attention, I don’t really have any more reason to Continue reading

0 What does it mean when someone takes a long time to return a text?

Lovelyme asks: Hello. I have this problem and its bothering me. See, I used to like this boy and, now that we aren’t talking anymore, it’s like I still like him and I’m pretty sure he does too! However when ever I text him he never replies back, and when he does its 30 minutes later. Usually I know what to do but at this point I’m stuck!

Hi Lovelyme –

Well Lovelyme, of course I don’t really know what’s going on in this boy’s mind, but two thoughts come to me.

First, kids today are SOOOO impatient!  Your great-great-grandparents probably wrote letters to each other that took a month to arrive, which means it took two months for them to hear back from each other.  Your grandparents could phone each other, but unless there was someone there to answer the call, they didn’t even know the other had called.  And even your parents probably just had answering machines, so until they went home they didn’t know.  And you’re complaining about thirty minutes?!  (And think about me!  The only way I know who’s come by to visit is to smell around and hope they peed on a Continue reading

0 How to deal with kids who run away from home

Isha asks: If you were a psychologist and you noticed that a child keeps running away from home every night and you decided to help that child, what would you do, ask, or say?

Hi isha –

I’m not a psychologist, but I’m sure I’d do the same thing if I were:  I’d work very hard to befriend that child, and earn their trust, and then ask this kid what is going on that makes them want to run away every night.  Lots of kids try to run away once or twice, upset about a punishment or thinking they’re not understood, or even looking for Continue reading