MyrnaFan1 asks: My parents say they’re going to get a divorce. Is it my fault?
Okay, repeat after me:
No. Not a bit. Not in the least. Not a chance. Not one eensy weensy little bitty bit. Divorce is never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, EVER the kid’s fault.
People get married because they want to. Because they think they want to spend the rest of their lives together. You know how you might one day have a friend who you think you’ll always want to stay friends with, but another day you might feel differently? Well that’s what happened to your parents. It’s a bigger deal than you with your friend, because they really did make plans to stay together forever, and now they have to deal with how to share or split up all the things they have. And the toughest thing to share (though at times it might feel like being “split up”) is, of course, You!
Divorce is always hard. It’s always sad. It always makes people angry and upset. No one hopes to get divorced, and so they’re disappointed and maybe even feel bad about themselves because of it. So sometimes it might seem like your parents are blaming you. But let’s go over it again:
No. Not a bit. Not in the least. Not a chance. Not one eensy weensy little bitty bit. Divorce is never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, EVER the kid’s fault.
If your parents don’t get a divorce, you’re one of the lucky ones. But that doesn’t mean that parents who do divorce are wrong to do it. Lots of time, it’s what they have to do. And if your parents split up, you definitely should find lots of things to help during it. Make sure you have someone you can talk with about your feelings. Therapists are great, friends are great, and of course dogs are fantastic.
And out of all those feelings, one of the most common is feeling that it’s your fault. So don’t feel bad about feeling that, either; it’s normal. But I want so badly for you to know: that belief is not true.
So let’s go through it a third time, okay?
No. Not a bit. Not in the least. Not a chance. Not one eensy weensy little bitty bit. Divorce is never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, EVER the kid’s fault.