How to tell someone you like them when they think you don’t

msourav229 asks: I like a girl. I have not told her yet. One day my friend told her that I have something to tell her. She was very curious to know what. In the meantime one of my other friends told her that he thinks I don’t have any interest in her. Usually she joined us to hang out but today she left. Now what should I do now? Did my friend’s words turn her off. How can I express myself to her?

Hi msourav229 –

 

 

Sometimes I get very complex questions.  This isn’t one of them.

 

We know two things:

  • She was curious about what your friend said you wanted to tell her.
  • She didn’t hang out with your group after your other friend said you weren’t interested in her.

 

So what don’t we know?

  • What that curiosity meant – is she just a naturally curious person, or was she particularly interested in what you might say?
  • Why she left the group.
  • And of course, how she feels about you.

 

There’s only one answer to “how can I express myself to her,” and there’s a clear way to do it!

 

The way is to call or write her and ask why she left the group – is she okay, was there a problem at home, did she need to do some homework, etc.

 

And then, once the conversation gets going, find some excuse to meet with her in some way.  She needs to do homework?  Maybe you can do homework together.  She’s having trouble at home?  She should go have a fun night out, maybe see a movie with you.  She was upset about something and doesn’t want to talk about it?  Tell her how you get that same way, and no one seems to understand, but you’re so glad she does… hey do you want to hang out sometime?

See where I’m going?!

You don’t exactly need to tell her all your feelings just yet.  All you need to do is to be friendly – and your friendliness will show that what your friend told her isn’t true!

 

Now what if she brings that up?  “Your friend told me you didn’t like me!”  Then you get to say “Oh he/she was being ridiculous.  They know I like you!  Don’t listen to them.”  And then she gets to wonder whether you mean that you like her just a little, or like her a lot… and I’d say to let her wonder!

 

But you’re in a great situation.  You like a girl and you have a reason/excuse to give her a call.  And you’re already friends.  All you need to do is to let her know how much fun you are one-on-one.

 

And that’s a very fun job to take on!

 

GOOD LUCK!!!!

Shirelle

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