Category Archives for "Questions"

2 Will raising grades make parents proud?

star asks: How do I, as a 17-year-old student, improve my grades enough for my parents to be proud of me?

Hi Star –

Sorry I wasn’t able to answer your question earlier.  I must say, I’m impressed with your persistence in “hounding” me to answer you, though!  If you show that same persistence in your studies, I’m sure you’ll do great!!

My main answer to you, in terms of how to improve your grades, would be the same as my answer to CaNdAcE’s question about school skills for teenagers (You can find it by typing keywords into the search box on the right side of the page here).

But Star, I think there’s another issue here I want to address with you.  You want to make your parents proud.  Now I don’t know you or your parents, but I know enough humans to know that Pride is a very, very tricky thing.  Some parents are proud of their kid no matter what bad things that kid does.  Other parents can’t be made to feel proud of their kid, no matter what good or great things that kid does.  The kid could get straight-A’s in school, rescue a drowning child in a river, or make millions of dollars and buy those parents a mansion and three cars… and they still won’t feel proud!  It’s not about the kid; it’s about them.   They’re just incapable of feeling pride.  Or maybe they’re able to feel it, but they’re not able to express it to their child.

Again, I don’t know you or your parents, so perhaps it is possible for you to win their pride through better grades.  But I just want to warn you, if you raise your marks and still don’t feel they’re taking pride in you, your job is to feel that pride about yourself!  Let them have their own strengths and weaknesses, and move on in your own life.  The more real pride you feel in yourself, the less you’ll need others to feel it about you.

And this is a terribly important lesson to learn in life, Star.  One which learning at 17 is a wonderful fantastic accomplishment.

So hit those books, raise those grades, and see where that takes you.  You’re at the beginning of adulthood, Star.  Your whole future lies ahead.  Do your best, and step forward.  The world is yours!

Cheers,

Shirelle

0 How to improve at test preparation and relaxation

Juicy asks: How do I concentrate in my studies? When I get lots of work to do, like when I have two tests on the same day? And then how can I relax on weekends, when I’m so stressed?

Hi Juicy –

Everything you’re talking about really comes down to one thing – staying centered.  To concentrate on your studies, especially when schools pile on the work and tests, and yet be able to de-stress, is a great skill that can improve one’s life immeasurably.  I’ve heard that one reason Julius Caesar was able to do so well in his battles was that he had the ability to completely relax and take very short intense naps, so that when his opponents’ generals were sleeping through the night, he’d be able to wake up after an hour or two and plan the next day’s strategy.  Now I’m not suggesting you try to get by on two hours’ sleep a night, but it’s a pretty cool Continue reading

0 How to work with someone who doesn’t do their share.

Che asks: What do I do with a co-worker who always does the planning and lets me do all the work?

Bite ‘em!

Well, that’s what I’d want to do.  Handsome is more of the “slap them hard on the side of the head” school.  Other suggestions would be to put thumbtacks on their chair, shave half their head’s hair while they’re sleeping, or make a video of them being lazy and show it to all the other co-workers.

But most likely, you don’t want to do anything that drastic.  Since as you’re the one who’ll get in trouble.  Especially if you Continue reading

0 How a kid can make money.

harley asks: I’m ten and I need ways to make money for a school trip to Mexico. Do you have any ideas on how I can get money? My parents are low on money so I can’t ask them.

Hi Harley –

How great!  I will love throwing some ideas at you, especially as I’m such a fan of travel, and I’m so impressed with your willingness to work for the money for this cool trip!  Mexico is really beautiful, and I’m sure you’ll have a great time.

But how to get there?  Well, I don’t know where you live, but a few kind of universal ways would be:

1)    Yard and House Work.  Most of your neighbors, and your friends’ families, probably have some sort of projects they’d love to get done around their homes.  Maybe it’s continuing work, like keeping their lawns mowed.  Or perhaps it’s some one-off project, like putting a new coat of paint on something, or clearing out an overgrown area.  Of course you don’t want to offer your services for a job that you’re not qualified for, but if it’s just simple labor, people will pay well for a good cheerful hard-worker.

2)    Vacation Care.  When people leave their homes for a vacation or work trip, it’s great to know there’s someone taking care of the place.  Maybe that means feeding pets, watering plants, picking up newspapers or Continue reading

0 What are good plays for children?

Elizabeth asks: Do you have some play scripts for nursery schools?

Hi Elizabeth –

Thanks for writing and asking me about play scripts for nursery schools.

I really don’t know about those things, but I am a big fan of getting children to perform, for many reasons (building self-esteem, body awareness, imagination, etc).

I found a good web page that talks about this subject.  You might want to check it out:

http://www2.scholastic.com/browse/article.jsp?id=983

But really, I don’t think you need to find pre-written plays.  At the preschool age, children won’t last long in a play, so you could probably write something yourself, based on a story you like.  Or even (and I love doing things like this) having the KIDS write it!

Good Luck!

Shirelle

2 What does it mean when a teenager feels alienated?

teejay96 asks: Hi, Shirelle. I feel like my life is taking a spiral turn towards its end. I feel so bitter inside, like I am angry inside. I don’t act as cheerful as I used to. I am more concerned about my looks and what people think of me than what I think of me. Despite my admitting this to my self, it still does not seem to go away. I used to have this self-destructive habit that no one knows about (I’d rather not share, and no it is not smoking – I am only 14). The point is that I know I am in my teenage years but I just want to feel as happy as I was in my childhood years – even if it is not constant, as long as it is there. My parents are not the understanding type, so you are the only one that can help me.

Hi teejay96 –

Wow, what a compliment!  I have no doubt that there are many others who could help you through this very tough time, but I am so honored that you think I’m the best one!  Thanks!

So, at risk of you losing all respect for me, I’m going to say what’s probably the last thing you expect to hear:  Congratulations.

You are in a situation that is officially called Existential Despair, and it usually shows up in people a couple of years older than you.  You are doing great, ahead of schedule, and this probably means you’ll be out of this difficult period sooner than some of your friends.  So, again, congratulations.

What’s going on is that your brain is developing, and you’re beginning to see the world very differently from the way you did as an innocent Continue reading

0 What do teenagers want?

Too asks: I want to know about teenagers’ great expectations, e.g. in their future careers, their future lives, and their families.

Hi Too –

There are some groups in the world that have very specific hopes, and you can find them easily and clearly.  If you look up, for example, the Jewish people, to find what they hope for, you’ll get clear answers:  a safe world for them to live and prosper and raise their children, freedom to practice their religion, and to be around when their Messiah comes.  Straightforward, simple, easy.

What do dogs hope for?  Love, security, fun, food, freedom… that’s really about it.

But what do teenagers hope for?  Oh baby!  The teenage years are a time when humans feel ten thousand things at Continue reading

0 Why do men cheat?

Kim asks: Why do guys cheat?

Hi Kim –

What a great question.  I know you’re asking about males in particular, but I have to ask my version: why do people cheat!

We dogs are very loyal, and often jealous.  I would never “cheat” on Handsome; I really wouldn’t know how.  And when I see him petting another dog too much, I get furious…  at that other dog!  I don’t see Handsome as a cheater at all; I just make sure that other dog understands that that man is mine!

But at the same time, I don’t want you to get the idea that I’m just a pathetic boring mutt who can’t enjoy anyone else but my Continue reading

6 How to get someone to admit they like you.

varonikar asks: I have a stupid problem. I know a boy who loves me, but he won’t tell me so. I also love him. So what do I do to get him to tell me he loves me?

Hi Varonikar –

Hey this isn’t a stupid problem, it’s a delightful one!  This is one of the most exciting times you can have in your life, when you know what you feel and what he feels, but no one’s saying what they feel.  So now comes the fun and scary part — how do you find out for sure how he feels, and get him to say so?!  Maybe get a friend to ask him if he likes anyone?  Or try hanging around him and see how he reacts?  Or you could do what I do – just jump on him and lick his nose.  But it seems that dogs get away with that a lot more than Continue reading

0 How to tell someone you aren’t interested in them romantically

Makina asks: If a boy likes me but I don’t like him the same way… I can’t tell him that, so what should I do?!

Hi Makina –

You know what?  You’re a terrific person.  You are kind and thoughtful, and you have a heart as big as all outdoors.  In other words, you’re a lot like me!  But people and dogs like us sometimes need to learn some funny lessons about how to treat others lovingly.

You see, when you say that you can’t tell the boy how you feel, you aren’t just a little bit wrong, you are absolutely completely totally FULLY wrong!  Actually, the kindest, most sensitive, best thing you can do is to tell him exactly what you’re Continue reading