Category Archives for "Kids"

0 How to play sports while self-conscious

Palooka asks: I am a 10-year-old boy. I love sports but my dad is the coach of my football team and I get really nervous when he’s not at the game but I get kinda nervous when he IS at the game. I’m okay during practice but when there is a game I feel kinda weird. What should I do? Thanks Shirelle. You are so wise.

Hi Palooka –

Oh what you’re describing is SOOOOO normal for humans!  You’re talking about something called Self-Consciousness.

Now we dogs do get self-conscious at times.  Like when you see pooches whose owners have dressed them in fancy sweaters and even booties, and those dogs see us other dogs (who are dressed more normally – wearing nothing more than collars) seeing them, and they’re mortified.  Sure, they had no choice in the matter, but they look so goofy, and they know it!

But most of the time, we pups really don’t feel that way at all.  We just live our lives, pursuing what we want and trying to stay out of trouble while we do it.  And it’s all fine.  But not humans.

Humans tend to be Self-Conscious, to some degree or another, all the time!  They go to school, feeling like everyone’s looking at them and judging the way they’re dressed or how their hair is that day (not realizing that everyone else is worrying about the same thing about themselves!); they create art and literature and poetry and songs that express their feelings and thoughts, hoping others will Continue reading

0 How to deal with a guy who won’t leave you alone

Sakurastars asks: So this guy I met through a friend has been interested in me and I was interested in being in a relationship with him as well. I am new to dating so I guess he wasn’t sure where I stood in liking him or not. So he decided to show me what I was missing by going out with another girl. Me being new to dating, I didn’t mind he was going with this girl. And continued to treat him as a friend. He started to act very strange towards me and even flirt with me in front of this girl he’s supposedly with. One day he got upset about me hanging out with someone else and called me out on it. So, I got upset and asked him why does it matter who I hang out with? He tried to make it my fault and didn’t think he did anything wrong. A day after I asked him what he viewed me as and he told me a friend. After this question he asked me in a expecting way “so…. why did you ask me this?” And I told him he was making me feel uncomfortable. He again he tried to make it my fault and told me it was in my head. I wasn’t going to fall for that. A couple of days after that talk he messages me, “hey pretty lady.” That was the last time I talked to him because I’ve been ignoring him for 4 months now. My question is why is he taking so much effort to talk to me again and why does he keep bothering his friends about me? And how do you get him to simply stop messaging me altogether? I was going to be straight with him and say it’s really sad that you don’t get the hint after 3 months, but I’m not really that mean.

Hi Sakurastars –

Wow, what a story!  At first it sounded pretty sweet, like a lot of romantic comedies where both people are really into each other but neither wants to admit it, and eventually one ends up running away from their wedding or something, and love triumphs over all.

But it sure doesn’t continue that way.

I have to admit, I’m a little confused about the time-frame of your letter.  Did all the events you describe end four months ago, but he’s kept messaging you the whole time?  Or were the four months before he wrote “Hey pretty lady?”  I’m not sure it matters which is right, though.  Because I’m seeing two major issues here.

The first is what’s called a Continue reading

0 How does Shirelle type?

aana asks: Weirdddd….. How can a dog type? What do you use?

Ah aana, you’re very right.  I’ve tried to get a very large typewriter that I could use with a “hunt and peck” method, where I’d put my paw down on each letter, but I certainly can’t use a normal one.

I use a special technology that enables my words to be typed out without my using my paws.  There are lots of these technologies out there these days, for the use of people who have certain disabilities, that allow them to express themselves if they don’t have the use of their hands or voices.  Well, what I use is kind of like that – though I don’t know any other dogs who are also use them.

I am a very lucky pooch!

Cheers,

Shirelle

0 How to best react to failure

dumboo asks: What should be our reaction if we fail in achieving something?

Hi dumboo –

There are lots and lots of ways to react when one fails at something.  A few I see often are “Oh No!  I give up!  This is impossible!” and “I don’t believe this!” and “God hates me!” and “I suck!” and “Well I know not to try that again!”

Some others aren’t so verbal.  They might involve bursting into tears, banging one’s head against a wall, or kicking someone.

Another is to immediately try doing what Continue reading

0 How to publish a magazine

kavin24 asks: Some schoolmates and I are in an international school project called World Link Society. The topic they have given to our school is natural disasters. So this year we are planning to publish a magazine and a CD. But for now it’s just an idea. Can you give us some tips on it? The CD is ok, but we really need to know all about the magazine. Can you send some suggestions as soon as possible? If you can do it right now, you’ll be the most intelligent dog in the world!

Hi kavin24 –
Thanks for your question about the magazine.  I’m sorry I wasn’t able to get to it the day you sent it to me – especially since I guess that makes another dog more intelligent than me (Darn that Lassie!).

The big deal with the magazine idea is whether you intend for it to be one issue or an ongoing magazine.  One issue is WAY Continue reading

0 How to control jealousy

prettyndsweet12 asks: Do you have any tips on controlling jealousy?

Hi prettyndsweet12 –

Jealousy is one of the most powerful emotions we have.  Note the word “we.”  We dogs can be very jealous – as any pooch who Handsome’s ever found adorable and cuddly has learned!  “RRROOOWFF!  I’ll teach you to let him scratch your belly!!”

All cultures have stories of jealousy.  In The Bible, the first kids ever born have enough jealousy between them that one kills the other!  That’s some nasty stuff!

I really like your question, because you didn’t ask how to get rid of jealousy (which is impossible), but how to control it.  And that’s something anyone can do.

The trick is to realize that jealousy actually comes from a Continue reading

1 Is it wrong to be jealous of people who still have their parents?

Salvatore asks: As you know, my father died a few months ago. Now, whenever my friends talk about their dads, I feel that something is burning inside me. I don’t know exactly what it is, but I think it may be jealousy. Please tell me how to overcome this feeling.

Hi Salvatore –

I have written about jealousy a few times.  Usually it’s about romantic jealousy, which can be anything from heartbreaking to fun to, as we know, murderous!

But the jealousy you talk about is something very different.  What happened to your father – and to you and the rest of your family – is absolutely unfair.  There’s nothing you have done – or could have done – to deserve this pain.  And when you hear other kids talk about their fathers, there’s no way it won’t hurt.

Though, of course, unless they’re purposely trying to make you feel bad, this isn’t their Continue reading

0 What to do when a sibling lies about you

Cookie Vidal asks: I’m 12 and my brother is 17, and he always blames me for things that I didn’t do, like putting bones in the sink. I’m getting sick and tired of him blaming me, so how do I make him stop?

Hi Cookie Vidal –
Remember a while back, when you asked me about your brother’s airheaded irresponsibility, and I said to accept it as a phase, and not feel that he’s a bad guy in any way?  Well, I’m starting to change my opinion.

You see, we dogs don’t lie.  It’s not that we’re too moral (we’re NOT!); it’s that we simply can’t.  Our brains don’t work that way.  Because of this, there’s a lot of confusion in our dealings with humans.

The most common example is when kids play fetch with us, and tease us by pretending to throw the ball and not actually letting go of it.  We run to chase it, and can’t find it.  The kids laugh at our confusion.  Now if they do it once, it’s not a problem, but if they do it more, we begin to think that their making that throwing motion doesn’t mean a ball is coming, so we stop responding to that sight.  We don’t have any sense of the child’s joke, because we don’t think that way.  So then the kid wants to really play fetch again, and it doesn’t work, because we’re not responding the way we have to in the Continue reading

0 How to deal with new fears after losing a parent

Salvatore asks: When you answered my last question, you asked what might have caused my depression. Its actual cause is my dad’s death. He died suddenly two and a half months ago. Since his death, I’ve been worrying about my future education. I still have my mother, elder brothers, and sister, but they can’t take away this feeling. I am studying pre-medicine. I remain worried all the time about who will support me financially till I become a doctor. I’m also worrying all the time about losing my mother too, as I lost my father. Please tell me what to do!

Hi Salvatore –

I am so horribly sorry about your devastating loss.  All animals expect to outlive their parents, but humans are supposed to last till we’re much much older.  It’s not fair that it happened to you, and I’m not going to try to make it feel better, because I just can’t.

I’m glad you told me what the reason for your feelings is.  Because there’s a difference between the usual Depression and what you’re experiencing, although they have the same symptoms.  You are going through what’s called Bereavement.  There’s no cure for it but time.  You’ve lost someone very close to you, who you loved dearly, and it came completely out of the blue.

In comparison, I know a man whose dog died of Continue reading

0 How to make decisions

prettyndsweet12 asks: Do you have any decision making tips for making decision in general situations?

Hi prettyndsweet12 –

I really have two tips about decision-making, and they directly contradict each other!

Let’s imagine that I see a squirrel leap off the roof of my house onto a bush, and climb down onto the ground and hop away.  I have to make a decision – should I chase him or not?

Well, my first tip is to not wait too long or think too much about it.  This is a very urgent situation.  The further the squirrel is from me, the less chance I have of catching the sassy little critter.  He also might see me if I give him time, and he’ll run away before I even get up onto my feet.  So my tip is – Choose Now!  Go For It!

My second tip, however, is the exact opposite.  What if that squirrel is right next to a Continue reading