Category Archives for "Featured Questions"

0 How do you stop hurting someone you love

Kelina asks: How do you stop hurting someone you love? I don’t mean to do it.

Hi Kelina –

Thanks for this very open question about hurting someone you love.

First, I want you to check out an earlier post I did, to the exact opposite question, about why the people we love hurt us!  It was written by Duaa.  Just put that name in the search box on the AskShirelle site, and it’ll come up.

But to your question, I’d say you need to ask yourself one very important question first:  Are they really being hurt by what you’re doing, or choosing to be Continue reading

0 How do I control my appetite?

Ashley asks: How do I control myself when I’m home at night and I’m really hungry?

Hi Ashley –

This is a really big question.  And I have to admit, much as I dislike it, I’m lucky in this regard.  You see, I can’t get into the refrigerator.  I can’t get into cupboards, I can’t even get into the container that holds my dogfood.  And because Handsome makes sure to regulate all that, I’ve never had an eating problem.  He makes sure I get all the really healthy dogfood I want at dinnertime, and I often leave it out so I can nibble on it during the day too.  But I can’t get pizza and cookies and treats and all whenever I want, only when he lets me have some.

Lots of people have trouble controlling their appetites.  And I certainly relate – I’d have trouble too, if I had the power you humans do.  So what you need to do is to be your own Continue reading

2 Why are teenagers preoccupied with sex

Angelbrat asks: I’m doing a survey at school about ‘Why are teens preoccupied by sex?’ I think of you as a highly professional little ‘puppy’ and your opinion on that question will be surely appreciated!

Ha!  I would love to see the results of that survey when you’re done, Angelbrat!

Well I have a few answers for you.  First of all, there’s the simple biochemical one.  When humans enter puberty, their bodies start secreting a lot of hormones that change them from being children into adults, and most of that has to do with sexual and reproductive aspects.  Whereas children might develop crushes on people because they’re so attracted to them, teenagers tend to walk around in a state of perpetually heightened sexual Continue reading

0 Does darker skin make a person less beautiful?

Aanand asks: For about 2 years, my skin has been becoming darker. Now I am 13 years old. I will be 14 years old within 2 months. I want to look more beautiful.

Hi Aanand –

Thanks for your question about your skin getting darker.

Although we dogs aren’t nearly as interested in looks as we are in smells and sounds, I understand your desire to look more beautiful.  It’s clear to me that when I’m dirty and covered in burrs and smells, most people don’t want to pet me, and even Handsome just does enough that it’s clear he’s just letting me know he still likes me.  But when I’m clean and brushed and not so smelly, so many more people want to hug and pet me, and kiss my nose and all.  You just want to be more attractive, and that makes total sense.

But you bring up a really important other issue as well.  It sounds like you’re saying that your skin getting darker means you’re getting less beautiful.  This of course isn’t your fault at all, but I have to say, if I’m reading this right, I HATE HEARING THINGS LIKE Continue reading

0 How to deal with having insulted a friend.

Brittany asks: I just started summer vacation, and I’m excited. There was this girl in my class who wears make-up and dyes her hair (we’re talking about fifth grade here). I also have a YouTube channel, and I made a video of me and my friend doing random stuff. At one point in it, I told that girl to jump off a cliff. I was just playing, but when this kid in my class found it, everyone saw it. It was a while ago when I posted it, but people started taking it seriously. Near the end of the year, her mom came on a field trip, and I got chewed out. She told me to take it off of YouTube before she told the principal, but I couldn’t and it never came up again. The girl also said she was moving, but she’s still one of my Facebook friends. Should I be happy, scared, or ashamed right now?

Oh Brittany, this is a lot!  Let me divide it into three answers:

First, about your posting that video.  This is a huge problem, as you probably know.  Nobody who ever lived before now ever experienced anything like the Internet.  It used to be you could say something like “That mutt across the street stinks like he rolled in a litterbox,” and even if everyone in the neighborhood repeated it, we’d be talking about relatively few ever knowing about it.  But today, something goes online, and it’s instantly viewable around the world, and hundreds, thousands, millions, billions could watch it.  So the good news is that you got this experience at a very early age, and so can learn the big lesson:  Be really careful about what you post online.  Especially if you say anything against anyone, you’ll have to live with what you Continue reading

0 How to encourage children to talk freely to parents, and not keep secrets

eyobkunu asks: How do we encourage kids to talk freely to their parents, and not keep secrets?

Thanks for asking this, eyobkunu.  It’s a fascinating question.

I’ve said on here before that dogs never lie, but you bring up a great point, that dogs also never keep secrets.  So I’ve had to really struggle to understand exactly what secrets are, and why people keep them.

The whole point behind secrets is that most people are very social, and love to tell most things in their lives to most of the people they know.  It really makes people feel good.  When I meet other dogs, I interact with them by sniffing them, playing with them, maybe some wrestling, maybe some barking, lots of chasing.  But when people meet, they usually, except for a quick handshake or Continue reading

1 Why are young people undisciplined

cool asks: What are the reasons for lack of discipline among youths?

Hi cool –

Well I am exactly the right one to ask about this!  Because I was a terrible puppy!  I loved to drive Handsome absolutely nuts with biting, chewing, yelping, escaping, jumping on strangers, anything I could do!  And when I say “puppy,” I really mean until I was around 3 years old (which in dog years means 21!).

So why was I so undisciplined?  Lots of reasons.  The main one was that it felt Continue reading

0 How should a teenage girl dress?

Charis asks: I don’t know what has gotten into me, that makes me feel so self-conscious these days. I used to be unbothered with what I wore, only caring about whether or not it’s comfortable. But now, I think of how people would think about me, and whether my so-called fashion sense would allow me to fit in with my other friends. However, my friends said that I have a very ‘Auntie’ style. I usually wear long jeans with a sweater. To me, it’s just being conservative so as to avoid giving guys the wrong impression. But, to my friends, I am being a coward by being scared to show some skin. I tried to shop for slightly-above-knee dresses, but I felt uncomfortable in them. I can’t take it anymore. What do I do?

Well Charis, here’s the good and bad news:  Welcome to Teenagerhood!  It’s great that you got to spend your childhood being a sensible girl who cared mainly about comfort, practicality, and safety.  Now here all that intelligence goes – whoosh – out the window!!

Now am I saying you’re not intelligent anymore?  Of course not.  In fact, in many ways, you’re smarter than you’ve ever been.   But now that you’re a teenager, some things matter that never mattered before.  Like just how important other people’s opinions are, and whether or not you’re attractive to the people you’re attracted to.  And especially Being Continue reading

4 What can a 14-year-old do in the summer

beliberXD asks: I am 14 yrs old. I feel so bored in the summer holiday I do not what to do (except to hang out with my friends). There is nothing fun to do. I always ask my parents to go out to somewhere, but they are busy and they do not allow me to hang out with my friends. Can you tell me what can I do, in this boring holiday summer, that would make me feel happy? Thank you.

Oh beliberXD, this is what makes me the saddest about 14-year-olds.  You’re too old to want to sit around playing toys, but too young to take the car out and go exploring.  Then it makes it even worse that your parents aren’t allowing you to hang out with your friends!  Do they really not want you to see your friends at all, or is it just that they won’t let you hang out as much as you’d like (or as late as you’d like!)?

The way you describe it, I don’t know exactly what I can suggest.  So I’m going to make a bunch of suggestions, but each will be based on a question:

1. Will they let you Continue reading

3 How to stop bedwetting

Mahad asks: My four-year-old son is in the habit of bedwetting. Do you have any suggestions? I really want to resolve this issue because it is becoming problematic for us.

Oh Mahad –

I so feel for both your son and you.  It’s very difficult, I know, to live with someone in your house who has bladder control, and it’s painful and humiliating to be the one with that problem.

With me it’s been slightly different.  I was able to get paper-trained and house-trained very quickly.  After that, there were a couple of times when Handsome was so stressed out it made me lose control, but otherwise I’ve been fine.  With one exception!

That exception is that dogs, unlike people, get inspired to Continue reading