Bright asks: When I grow up, what will I be? I am not really sure, and I don’t even really know what I like. Can you help me?
Hi Bright –
Ah, the truth is that I can’t help you decide at all. I have hundreds of questions on my website about building one’s future, but what’s absolutely great is that you will be the one to decide for yourself! For today, the best thing you can do is to find things that you do like, and pursue them. Even if they’re not the things that school says are important.
Handsome really fell in love with old horror movies when he was about ten years old. Did they get him a career, a marriage, or anything remotely like that? Nope. Does he think about them every day today? Yep. Did he totally flip out a couple of years ago when he got to meet Boris Karloff’s daughter? You bet! In other words, that love from his childhood has deepened and strengthened his adult life today. And that is a great thing.
Now do you know what else he loved at that age, that his school didn’t care anything about? His dog. Now did that affect his life today?! Need you ask?!!!
There are times in all people’s lives when they lose a sense of pleasure. The official word for that is Anhedonia. But having Anhedonia doesn’t mean you won’t feel pleasures tomorrow, just as you did yesterday. You’re just not sure what you like right now.
I find that very cool. Because you can walk around, read, play, anything, looking to find what affects you. And that’s a really strong place to be.
But to the rest of your question, what will you be, all I can do is refer you to an old song by the great writers Jay Livingston and Ray Evans. The title, “Que Sera Sera,” is (ungrammatical) Spanish for “What will be, will be.” Here are the full lyrics. They’re pretty wonderful, and better than the words I could possibly find for you. (You might also go online and find the song itself; the most famous version of it was from a beautiful singer named Doris Day, though it’s been recorded by everyone from Alvin and the Chipmunks to… yes… The Shirelles!):
When I was just a little girl
I asked my mother, what will I be
Will I be pretty, will I be rich
Here’s what she said to me.
Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future’s not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be.
When I was young, I fell in love
I asked my sweetheart what lies ahead
Will we have rainbows, day after day
Here’s what my sweetheart said.
Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future’s not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be.
Now I have children of my own
They ask their mother, what will I be
Will I be handsome, will I be rich
I tell them tenderly.
Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future’s not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be.
Thanks for writing, and I hope that future includes more of your connecting with me!
Shirelle