What to do about a girl who’s hitting on your boyfriend

Blessing Special asks:

There’s this girl that has been disturbing my boyfriend. He told me all about her. She even ruined our dinner one time with her call, for which my boyfriend was mad at her.  He pleaded with me and we were cool, but I told him am not comfortable with her calls. But he keeps saying that he isn’t talking to her any more and he muted her on WhatsApp. Now my question to him was why can’t you block her since she got your number from your cousin and she’s disturbing you even when she knows that you have a girlfriend? She’s still throwing passes at you. He then said that he couldn’t block her because she’s his cousin’s friend and that his cousin will feel bad. So my feelings doesn’t matter, but that of your cousin whose friend is disturbing our peace does? She keeps sending him dirty voice notes and trashy chat.  I am not comfortable at all.

Hi Blessing Special –

Oh WOW do I relate!  Handsome is WAY too friendly with other puppies, and I get super-jealous.  But this is especially so because she’s doing this when you’re there, and of course you’re offended.

I do understand your boyfriend wanting to be nice to her for his cousin’s sake, but you’re right – the cousin’s feelings shouldn’t come before yours.

So I have an idea.  Maybe it’ll work, maybe not, but if your boyfriend is in agreement…

What if, the next time she calls when you’re together, he answers, but then says “Hey I’m sorry I can’t talk right now, but can you talk to Blessing Special?”  And hands you the phone.

Maybe she’ll hang up right away, maybe she’ll be rude to you, or maybe she’ll be really nice to you.  I don’t know.  But the statement he’ll be making will be clear – that you’re the one who matters, and if she wants to deal with him, she’s dealing with the two of you.  And that’s the message she needs to hear, and the message you need him to give.

Once she knows he’s on your side, I imagine these stupid calls will stop.  So if you talk with her, you don’t need to be mean.  Just pretend to be ignorant, “Oh hello, who’s this?  Oh how do you know Ingmar (or whatever your boyfriend’s name is)?  Oh yes, I know that cousin, he’s great!” etc.

What do you think?  Can it work?


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