PERFECTION asks:
I met this girl on Facebook and she seems nice and all. It’s been a week and a couple of days since the first time we talked to each other and things are actually going so well. I already told her a LOT of things about me, she seems to be interested about my life, and she also told me a lot about herself too. It’s a give and take situation. Umm, is it alright for things to be going this fast? I mean, we’ve been calling each other “baby” already and saying “I love you” whenever we’re gonna go or have something to do. I’m just kind of a bit worried if I am going too fast? Is this normal? I told her, “I really don’t know you but, I would very much like to know you more, this may be just an infatuation but it could also be something bigger.” Was I on the right track saying that to her? I’ve always wanted for her to know what I wanted and what my thoughts are. What do you think I should do? Is everything just fine?
Hi PERFECTION –
I really have two answers for you. The first is a big shrug, and for one simple reason: I. Am. A. Dog. I get all excited by people and pups the moment I meet them, and if they smell good and are nice to me I instantly feel exactly what you said to her! I find you humans brilliant and all, but I have to admit I’ve never understood just why it takes you so long.
For example, the day I met Handsome, I was a puppy in a cage in a pound with four other pups. He and I locked eyes, he put his hand in the cage and I chewed on it, and right then I was 100% in favor of a lifetime commitment (especially if it involved getting me out of that cage!). It took him some hours to decide, but luckily he made my choice. But for me, it just took seconds.
The issue, for knuckleheads like you and me, is that our immediate excitement can put some humans off. Handsome liked it, but other people run away from my friendliness and kisses. You know, the “Dogs are all right, as long as they don’t try to lick me or anything” sort!
So were you too forward with her? Did you maybe scare her back a bit? I don’t know. Only she does, and only she can tell you what you did right or wrong.
But you certainly didn’t do anything gross or unkind. You didn’t grab her or force anything onto her.
So here’s the funny part – instead of looking at this as you doing something right or wrong, how about if you look at it as a test for her? And if she loves your enthusiasm, that’s yet another reason to like her. Or if she backs up just a bit, wondering if you’re this way with all the girls, then that’s okay – if just shows she’s smart and cautious, and hopefully she (like Handsome) will come around to you again soon.
But what if she hates what you said? What if she’s actually repelled by it, “Who does he think he is?! I barely know this guy and he’s pushing things way too far!” Well, then that says something else about her. In particular, I think it says that she might not be the right girl for an exciting, enthusiastic romantic like you!
So overall, my first answer is, No Problem at All, just keep your eyes open to see how she responds.
And my second answer? My friend, this is SUCH A WEIRD TIME!!! In normal days you two would have met by now, and shyly, nervously, begun the clumsily beautiful dance that is human dating. But now, you two are locked up and probably can’t even meet for a while. So I don’t know if there’s really a right and wrong about how you two communicate (with the exception of sending her something that would truly hurt or offend her, but you’re above that).
It makes me think of an amazing movie Handsome showed me once. Or rather, the very beginning of it. It’s World War II, and a British pilot radios down from his plane to give a report, which is taken by a young American woman. He explains that his plane has been shot, is on fire, and is going to crash, and he has no parachute, so he knows he’s going to be killed in minutes. The woman is horrified, and pleads for some way for him to be saved. But there is none. But as they talk, in this insane level of stress, he falls in love with her and her beautiful caring heart. And he promises that, if there is life after death, he’ll come find her. He bids her goodbye, and she suddenly hears no more on her radio. (The movie is called “A Matter of Life and Death,” and Handsome always insists it’s the best opening of any movie he’s ever seen! And the rest of it’s amazing too. Check it out if you ever get the chance!)
This is coming into my mind because, like you and this girl, there’s nothing that pilot and radio operator can say that’s wrong. He can confess his love, and she can fall for him, and who could fault either of them?
Now this lockdown will end someday, and you and she will have to deal with each other in a more normal setting. But for right now, if you’re both happy with what you’re saying, I’d say to keep it up. What harm could there be?
And of course I WANT THIS TO WORK OUT, BECAUSE IT’S SO ROMANTIC MY PUPPY HEART IS ABOUT TO BURST OUT OF MY RIBS!!!
Please Please let me know what happens!
Shirelle