How to figure out what people who avoid compliments really feel

Wretched asks: I jwant to know your thoughts about my crush’s reply to my confession. I didn’t get it and I don’t know what to reply. So I’m asking you if I have been rejected. My confession started with “I like you” and I followed it with the reasons why. I told him I was thankful for him because he helped me heal through his Godly posts. His reply was, “All glory goes to God and I merely relayed God’s messages.” Now I am confused with how to respond to that.

Hi Wretched –

This is a funny situation.  You know, my human friend Handsome, who I think is just the greatest thing in shoes?  Well he has this problem, where when someone gives him a big compliment, he’ll often give a trick answer, to avoid it.  He likes hearing them, but they often make him uncomfortable.  So someone will say they like the outfit he’s wearing, and he’ll comment on how much better it would look on a better-looking guy.  Or they compliment something he’s said as smart, and he’ll say “yeah, well even a broken clock is right twice a day.”  Or they’ll say he’s got deep wisdom and a great soul… when he ALWAYS says, “any of that is completely due to what I’ve learned from Shirelle.”

The reason I’m saying all this is that I truly don’t know what your crush is feeling or thinking.  He may be a man who believes deeply that all honor on him belongs to God, and it’s his way of expressing faith to say so at every opportunity.  Or he may (more like Handsome) just be a bit embarrassed, and even if he feels the same way toward you that you feel toward him, retreated into his statement about God.

Or it could be that he is trying to let you down easy.

I have NO IDEA. 

In fact, is it even possible that he didn’t fully understand  what you said, and really thought you were just thanking and complimenting him for his help?

Sadly I think the truth is we know nothing.  And can’t unless he says something more.

Is there a way for you to get a little more information out of him?  Even just find out about what he likes or finds attractive in others?  (I find people can get a lot of information about that by asking about movies and TV shows and music.  “What movie stars do you like?”  If you could be with any character on TV, who would it be?”)

Because right now, I’m as unknowing as you! And by the way, I have no problem acknowledging, I’m REALLY SMART!

All my best,


About the Author

Leave a Reply 0 comments

Leave a Reply: