Manuu asks: I have been wanting to date a girl a very long time, but she told me she has someone else she loves. But I can’t comprehend that in my head, because I love her way too much. Any time she talks about that guy I get so jealous and mad that even, a lot of time, I cry. I really do love her and don’t wanna leave her. What should I do?
Hi Manuu –
Oh I so understand where you’re coming from! I’ll see my human friend Handsome fall in love with a woman, and get all obsessive about her, and I just can’t understand what he’s doing when I’m available and so in love with him, and always ready to play and cuddle and go wherever he wants – and those women are never as accepting as I am!
But the fact is, it doesn’t really matter how much you or I love someone; they feel what they feel, and that’s all there is to it.
But you can do what I do, which is to be the best friend in the world. And that can work out, because if their romance doesn’t work out (and so far, Handsome’s never have!), we’re there to help them afterwards.
Now in my case, I’ve never been actually rejected by Handsome; he still loves and lives with me while he’s going crazy about these women. Whereas you’re stuck in the “friend zone,” which I know feels lousy.
But if you can get her to value you enough, then maybe she’ll come to her senses and realize that you’ll make a far better boyfriend than that jerk!
So even though you’re jealous and angry, just try to be as kind and supportive as you can. Don’t pretend to not care for her (or she’ll think you don’t), but let your love become a wish for her to be happy no matter what.
And if this other guy isn’t as kind as that, he’ll make you look SO GOOD!
In fact, there’s another funny thing that could happen to you, that does happen with me occasionally. Handsome will put up with all sorts of nonsense a woman does (putting him down, flaking out on him, guilt-tripping him), but if she in any way questions his feelings for me, or especially if she suggests he should get rid of me or treat me worse… oh that’s when he BLOWS UP! Here I’m being so great to him, and she’s complaining that I’m not good enough? Nope, he’ll end up breaking up with her for it.
So imagine if you’re such a great friend to this girl, and her boyfriend gets jealous of YOU!, and tells her to cut you out of her life… and she responds by cutting HIM out instead!
It’s not impossible. I’ve seen it a few times!
So see if you can do it. If you’re just too angry, then maybe it’s impossible. But if not, if you can allow her to have her feelings while staying as lovable as possible… oh this could work out beautifully!
Let me know how it goes!