Danish asks: I am very confused about what to talk with this girl I’m interested in, as sometimes I used to be topic-less and blank when talking with her, and sometimes I don’t text her for 2 to 3 days, and I think this is not good because it is very important to spend time with her (at least talk with her) because already we are long distance. So can you please tell me what to talk about with her because we already know basic stuff about each other. What topics should I bring up next?
Hi Danish –
This is so much more common a concern than people realize. Yes, there are those folks out there who are just great at conversation, and always come up with interesting topics, but most people are a mixture of shy, nervous, or simply unable to think of anything beyond “How about that weather?” or, if they’re aware enough of it, whatever recently happened in sports!
Now there are books out there that give advice on what the best conversational methods are to seduce someone, make them love you, etc. I’m no good at that (my seduction method is to drop a slobbery tennis ball into a person’s lap and beg them to throw it). But in terms of friendly talk, I do have a few ideas.
- Ask about their day. What did she do earlier? What was the best part of her day, or the worst? Have you ever had a similar experience? Do you have opinions or feelings about what happened to her? Your goal is to get a conversation that keeps going, so letting her point out what’s interesting to her is a great way to go.
- Think of the most interesting thing that’s happened to you in the last day or few days. If someone walked up to you and asked you what’s been interesting today, you’d probably have an answer, right? So just throw in whatever that is. “Two kids got in a fight at school today.” “My cousin broke his arm.” Or my favorite, “I saw the cutest puppy in the park!” Whatever it is, if you find it interesting, others are bound to as well.
- Ask an opinion. This one you’ll want to think of before you talk with her, but what could you ask that’d be interesting? Maybe you and some friends disagree about something, and you could ask her. “Who’s better, Beyonce or Adele?” “Who should win the Best Picture Oscar this year?” “Do you think aggressive foreign policy or diplomacy is the better way to go?” Any of those work – again, if you find them interesting. It’s especially good if you can say “My friends and I are disagreeing, and I think a woman’s perspective is going to be best!”
- Tell her a story that means a lot to you. “I was thinking today about this thing that happened when I was twelve, and I want you to know about it.” Ask first if she’s up for you telling it – if she’s in a hurry she might be bothered by you starting a long tale – but if she’s okay with it, she might love hearing you tell something important to you, and showing your heart.
- And I’m always going to say – talk about dogs! What breeds do you two like best, who’s your favorite you’ve ever known,are they better than cats (Dumb question I know, but SOME people actually think there’s competition!). And which dog has the best advice website ever?!!!!
So those are a few ideas. But mainly, your goal is just to be friendly. Show interest in what she says, be curious about anything she brings up, and she’s going to feel like you care. And that’s really the most romantic thing possible!
Good Luck My Friend!
Shirelle