What to do when someone forces you to stay in a relationship.

Tannu asks: My boyfriend has kept me in blindness. He used to tell me that he is very rich. And he has taken my savings from me and said he will return it to me in two three days. But he has not returned it. I loved him so much. I have done whatever he told me to do, but he has lied to me for three years (taking my money, saying his father was ill). When I came to know about the truth he apologized to me and begged me to leave with him. I am in confusion what to do. But on the other side he used to curse me and put finger on my character. He used to tell me that I would leave him for money and didn’t accept his apology because I started liking someone else. Now I don’t want to stay with him, but he’s forcing me to, to get my money back. I don’t know what to do in this situation.

Hi Tannu –



I have to admit, just from your letter, I’m not liking this fellow very much.  He sounds like a total, awful jerk.  Not just kind of a jerk.


So this is a horrible situation.  And there’s no good easy way out of it.


One answer, if you can afford it, is to just walk away.  Forget about the money, and figure it’s your payment to have a life free of this creep.


But if you can’t afford that, my suggestion is to get some ‘muscle.’  Maybe some lawyers, but someone to confront him and force him to pay you back.


The only thing I really DON’T want you doing is just what you are doing, which is playing his game and staying in the relationship on his terms.  This is soul-destroying, and gives him every reason in the world to not pay you back!


I wish I knew more, and could tell you exactly what to do.  But I can only urge you to choose some solution other than staying.  This current situation just stinks.


All my best wishes,


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