How to win over someone who is afraid of being held down by a relationship

Danish asks: As you suggested, I asked that girl in an indirect way why she doesn’t want to marry. I feel her answer is based in fear, that she wants to achieve something big In life. She’s scared while she thinks about her future. She doesn’t want to depend on boys for her survival. She is ambitious and she wants an independent life. And she does have feelings for me, as she told one of our mutual friends, and will accept me after being successful. So here I want to ask you how to make my emotional connections stronger now, as she doesn’t know that I know she has a feeling for me – but without letting her know what her friend told me?

Hi Danish –


Wow, this is a fascinating situation!


It feels like it should be part of a romantic comedy movie, maybe a musical, but I don’t think it’s ever been made.  The woman is focused on her career, the man wants to win her, so he works to convince her that he’s so focused on his career that he’ll only date her if she’s not interested in getting married yet.  She gets very attached to him, and decides she wants to marry him, but is afraid to say so, because she thinks he’s too independent.  Eventually there’s a big confusion that almost ruins everything, but they discover the truth, and in a big song and dance number pledge their love to each other forever.


Sound good?


I think it’d be a big hit!  But I’m going to like it a lot better if you LIVE it instead of filming it!


Can you do this?  Can you be her friend, and get her interested in you, without letting her know how much you want for you to be hers and her to be yours?  If you can, this just might work!


And it would be SOOO romantic!


Best of luck!


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