How to deal with a date who treats you badly

Reena asks: I went on a first date with a guy I met online. I found he’d lied to me about his age. On Tinder it was mentioned 31, in his car he tells me he’s 34. He asked me where we should go next – a coffee shop or a hotel !? Ouch. Wow ! He tried to get physical, I didn’t let him cross a certain line. After that, when I reached home, he didn’t message me; I had to. Then he tell me in the evening that he isn’t looking to date anyone right now or get into a relationship, he’s not in that mind frame !! Wow ! Honestly Shirelle, I won’t bore you with details of how I feel at the moment. Chemistry is something that is very Black and White. You either have it with someone or you don’t. You can’t fake that. I took my time before meeting this guy in person. Though like most guys on Tinder he was pressurizing me to meet up. I took my time, till that trust was developed. He is a master manipulator! Or he simply doesn’t know what he wants. Then three days ago, he started an argument with me because I was at a guy friend’s house. This friend of mine had invited me to his place because he’d bought a new flat with an amazing view and he was very excited to show me his new place, that’s why I went. This Tinder guy started asking me questions like 1) Are you alone with him 2) Are you having fun 3) Did he flirt with you or try to kiss you 4) Why are you so eager to make out with him This actually irritated me to no end but I didn’t say anything. Deep down inside I really wanted to give it back to him. Shirelle, this guy tells me he can’t date me or give me a relationship. He has no right to ask me such questions. He is not my boyfriend! The moment a guy says he wants to keep things casual, he loses his right to ask your whereabouts and who you’re with. He loses his right to jealousy and possessiveness. And this is the same guy who told me when we met, that he doesn’t like possessive behavior!?? Wow ! Either double standards or he simply doesn’t know what he wants. What do you think??

Hi Reena –


Hmmm… let me see…  how can I put this…

Treat him the way I treat a fire hydrant?  No, that’s too intimate.
Treat him the way I treat a squirrel?  No that involves you having mouth-contact with him.
I know!  When Handsome finds a tick on me, he holds something hot next to it so it is in pain and pulls out of my skin, then he squeezes it in half till its blood pops out, then he pops the little vermin into the toilet and flushes it down, usually with a mix of cursing at it for daring to hurt me, but wishing it well to come back as something better in its next lifetime.
THAT’S about the way I feel about this guy.
I love that you’re as friendly and caring as you are, but even a loving pooch like me would let him know that after lying to you (about his age), putting demands on you you weren’t comfortable with (Oh would I like to take a bite out of his trousers for that!), and then trying to control you afterward with all these questions, I am DONE.
…and then, if I understand correctly, the action on Tinder involves…
Sorry it went badly, but glad you’re safe!
All my best,

About the Author

Leave a Reply 0 comments

Leave a Reply: