My pack asks: I have been in a long distance relation with a guy for 2 years. We have a very healthy relationship. So, my problem is a girl. She is a part of the group of friends he also belongs to. They had a friends-with-benefits kind of relationship before I entered into his life. When our relation was new, they both again came close and I caught some messages on his phone and he confessed to me he kissed her. After this incident, they broke their friendship but since they both are a part of the same group they met in groups. My boyfriend and I broke up the past month for a few days and in that span of time they again became friends. I am insecure now. What should I do?
Hi My pack –
So I’ll admit I have a bias here – I tend not to like long-distance relationships, for just these reasons. First, because it’s so hard for young people to remain faithful to someone they hardly ever see, and second, because it’s just about impossible to trust someone who’s so far away, and has other people around.
My friend, of course I have no idea what your boyfriend did or didn’t do with that girl, while you two were broken up. But the fact that you two were broken up makes me question your statement that “we have a very healthy relationship.”
So here are my questions to you: Will this long-distance aspect of your romance come to an end soon? Do you know if you two will be living in the same area someday? And biggest of all – are you two sure you want to stay together in the long run?
Look, I know breaking up is no fun. Hey, I’m a dog, so my heart breaks every day when my human leaves the house, even though I know he’s certain to come back soon. But I don’t want to see you in a situation that can’t work.
If you and he really have things worked out, then you should be able to trust that he won’t be more than friends with this girl. But if things aren’t just that secure, I’d seriously question whether you two would be better off being able to have fun with people around you – and maybe later, if you’re living in the same area, then you could become a couple again, with a much deeper commitment.
So, to sum this all up, I’m going to say that we should be grateful for this girl. Because she’s either the proof that your relationship is a good one (by his being able to be friends with her while staying faithful to you), or she’s the prod you two need in order to move on to better, happier situations.
Which one is she? That’s got to be up to you and him. If he can make you feel more secure, then great. But otherwise… sometimes it’s best to just be friends, you know?
All my best,