What to do when someone who’s in a relationship flirts with you.

Power asks: There is a girl that I have not met, but we talk, we chat, and she promised to visit me at my place and stay for a couple of days. But she has a boyfriend and she loves him, but also feels some affection for me – and as for me I do love her. I decided to let it go and told her. Its over but she doesn’t want it to end. What should I do?

Hi Power –


You’re in a funny situation.  Usually, when someone is being “two-timed,” the other person is keeping it a secret from them.  But this girl is being open about it with you.  I like that.  But there’s one thing I don’t know – is she also being open about you with her boyfriend?


And that question worries me.


See, if she’s telling him as well, then all is equal, and all is fine.  But if she’s not, then you are being kept “on the side,” while her main relationship is with him.  Which would be fine if you were treating her the same way, but you’re clearly way more interested in her.


Now none of this is a real problem, yet, as you two have never even met in person yet.  But if you did, what would you do?  Would you start to see her “on the side,” out of her boyfriend’s sight?  Because that can become really humiliating for you (or dangerous, if he finds out and gets jealous!).


So look, I relate.  My human Handsome has girlfriends, and while they’re together I’m a bit less important to him.  But he always comes back to me, and he never pretends I don’t exist or that he doesn’t love me like crazy.  Otherwise I couldn’t stand it.  So I just want to make sure you’re being treated okay.


So again, for now, I don’t see any problem.  And if she ends up breaking up with that guy and you two become an item, that’s fantastic.  But I do caution you against becoming something secret and ‘convenient’ for her, in person.  The chance of your heart being shattered is just too high.


Wishing you all the best luck with this!


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