raina1226 asks: My bf and I have been in a relationship for one month. I did a loyalty test on him: I asked my friend to flirt with him on a phone call. So she started the conversation; he also flirted with her and asked her for double-dating, friends with benefits. I heard everything and I decided to break up with him. Now he is asking for another chance, but he is not accepting that he was flirting. Now what should I do? I really want a serious kind of relationship, as my past is not very good. Please help me out.
Hi raina1226 –
Okay, I’ve got to be honest here – I am a huge flirt! I love running up to strangers and jumping on them, I love getting male dogs to chase me in the dog park or on the beach, and more than anything I love to flirt with my best human friend Handsome.
So I’m not going to criticize anyone for flirting. That would make me a hypocrite, and we dogs just never are hypocrites!
But I want you to notice my earlier sentence again: “I’ve got to be honest here.” I’m a flirt, but I’m also honest.
What your boyfriend did with your friend is creepy, there’s no question about it. But what I’m a lot more bothered by is that you say he’s “not accepting that he was flirting.” I think you were nice to only suggest that he was flirting; most people would say he was cheating, or at least trying to. But whatever you call it, what he’s doing now is LYING.
He got caught. Maybe he can say it was wrong of you to set him up the way you did, but he was still caught, regardless.
And again, what bothers me so much is that he’s lying about it.
So usually I am not so definite in what I tell my pack members, but in this case, I’m going to say: Dump Him. There’s a beautiful line a poet said a few years ago, “When someone shows you who they really are, believe them the first time.”
I don’t mind that he’s a flirt, and maybe even his attempt to cheat with your friend was just a dumb attempt at a thrill. But he’s shown you that he’s a liar.
So in this one case, I say… Believe him. And kick him out to the street. You deserve better, and there’s lots better out there.
All my best,