Is it wrong to return a text to your friend’s boyfriend?

SEND HELP asks: So a few minutes ago I texted this guy just joking around, doing the same thing as he did to me in school today and the conversation kind of got awkward and I regret doing it. First he was like “who’s this” and so I replied and we had a small talk and then he was like “why’d you text me anyways?” So I just replied with something along the lines of “payback for school today”. I know it’s awkward but he’s in a relationship with my best friend and I’m just praying to God that he doesn’t tell her about our text and I just hope he doesn’t think I like him because I DO NOT. I’m just in Grade 6 now so a girl texting a guy is REALLY awkward if you’re not that close. PLEASE HELP I’M LITERALLY GONNA DIE IF HE TELLS MY FRIEND IDK WHAT TO DO.




I’m afraid my response might be late, because you probably had to deal with any consequences of your text a few hours after you wrote me!


But in case it’s still going on, here’s my response:


You didn’t do anything wrong.  Your friend’s boyfriend was sending you joking texts, and you responded by sending one back.  I don’t see a problem.


In fact, if he was joking around with you and you completely ignored him, your friend’s feelings might have been hurt.  “Why are you treating my boyfriend so coldly?  Don’t you like me anymore?!”


To be honest, the greatest danger I see is that he might like you, and is flirting with you, and doesn’t stop.  So if he keeps texting, you might write him back (in a friendly way) something like “I can’t talk, sorry.  In the middle of homework.  Besides, you should be texting your girlfriend!  Ask her about what happened in math class today; it was hilarious!”


See where I’m going?  You can be friendly, but still direct his attention to her, away from you.  Hopefully he gets the message.


But even better, he’s hopefully just joking around, being friendly to his girlfriend’s friends, and proving he’s a great, fun, guy – just the sort you’d hope she’d be with.  The kind of friend, or boyfriend or girlfriend, or husband or wife, or dog, we all hope our friends are surrounded by.


All my best,


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