Sarah asks: Hi Shirelle, so I came out of class and I wanted to get something to eat because the cafeteria was closed and the only way I could’ve gotten something to eat was by going to my school’s mini store which is where my crush works. At first, I went straight to my room because I was too scared and nervous to go in that store. But, something told me that I had to face my fears and I had to stop letting this guy stop me from getting something to eat. So I gathered up the courage and went to the store. When I went, he was the cashier for the night!!! I just walked in took what I wanted and gave him the cash hoping he would not say anything to me. Guess what he did say something to me — and I didn’t know what to say. I was so embarrassed because he stared at me waiting for a response and I was just standing there nervous and awkward. Pleased help me to cope with this.
Hi Sarah –
The answer to your question is… that there is no answer. Your complaint about how you’re acting in front of your crush is exactly the way every person in the world has acted in front of their crushes, since time began! You’re so excited by their presence, and so scared of doing something wrong, that your body goes into an emergency mode. It’s kind of like if you press the accelerator and the brake of a car all the way down to the floor at the same time! It’s completely exciting – and there’s no way for it not to be embarrassing and fun at once.
You might have heard, in a biology class or something, about something called “Fight or Flight.” Most mammals have this. Think of what a cat does when I show up in the yard — it’s suddenly very nervous, and its brain goes into hyperdrive, as it screams out inside, “I’ve got to run away! I’ve got to run at that mutt and scratch her nose! I’ve got to stand perfectly still and hope she doesn’t see me!” All of these happen at once. Eventually, the cat will make a decision (usually it’s to run like blazes and shoot up the nearest tree, driving me nuts!). But until it does, it’s in that same place you were. Just electrified.
So now, to your question…
Of course, there’s nothing you can do to change what happened, although it may not be as bad as you think; you may find it hard to believe, but while your whole system was going wacko, on the outside you might have appeared completely normal, just quiet and disinterested. So it’s possible there’s nothing at all to worry about.
But what if that wasn’t the case? What if this guy, who you are so crazy about, saw you being nervous and confused and eager… in other words, what if he saw that you really like him?
Well… isn’t that actually a good thing?!
See this is where we pups have easier lives than you guys. If I like someone, I do everything in my power to show them I do! I jump on them, lick them, chase my tail when they walk into the room… I can’t think of a single reason why I wouldn’t want them to know I adore them. But I know you humans are different.
So here’s my thought. Just try to be cooler next time. And try to start a little conversation with him. If he didn’t notice how you were feeling before, he’ll be glad that you’re nicer this time. And if he did notice, he’ll maybe worry a bit about why he doesn’t excite you as much this week as he did then.
And both of those are great!
Plus, if you get a conversation going, you might get to find out some things about him. Like, perhaps, some interests that you could decide are yours as well?!!!
I wish you the BEST of luck with him! This is really exciting!
Be Proud of Your Heart!
Shirelle