What to do when your boyfriend accuses you of lying

samantha asks: My boyfriend thinks I lied to him. I didn’t, but he won’t believe me and won’t answer my texts. Here is the situation: I got worried that he may have been cheating on me so I added one of his friends on snapchat that I saw he snapchats a lot, just wanted to see who the person was. On Monday, she posted a 45 second story of her in the car listening to music, but it never showed her face, so I went on with my day. Later in the day, my boyfriend texted me that his best friend said I screenshot her story on snapchat, so I replied saying I didn’t but that I watched the story. He then replied, “So you’re gonna lie when you just blocked her on snapchat? Why are you lying?” (with some more colorful words as well). I replied, “I haven’t blocked anyone or erased anyone or anything. I’m so confused about what you’re talking about.” He responded, “She called me all weekend asking who you were, and I know you blocked her.” And I responded, “I didn’t block her,” and he said “She doesn’t even know you,” so I then told him I had added her on snapchat to see who she was and that was it, and he accused me of lying again. I’ve since then tried to see him so we can talk in person, but he hasn’t responded to any of my texts.

Hi samantha –


You probably know, I’m usually a very positive-minded pup, eager to encourage people to try to make relationships work.  But in this particular case, I’m afraid I’m coming from a somewhat less excited place.


Let me explain.  Lots of couples treat each other well most of the time, but get into misunderstandings or arguments, which can often result in problems, and I’m so happy to step in and try to help them work things out, and get back to the loving place where everyone is happier.


But I’m not seeing that here!


I’m seeing a guy who’s very suspicious – to a degree that makes me think he’s trying to hide something.  And I’m seeing him treating you just horribly!  He’s accusing you, insulting you, cussing you out, avoiding you…  All because you went onto snapchat?!


I could be wrong, and there’s lots I might not know.  But my sense, samantha, would be to flick him away like a flea.  If he really cares about you, he’ll come around.  But otherwise, it sounds to me like you could do better.  LOTS better.


All my best,


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