Should you move in with someone if you don’t like their family

Catlover29 asks: My boyfriend wants to move to Greece with his parents. They have land and want to build a house. I really do not want to go. I don’t like his mum – she is controlling, very stubborn, and does not listen to anyone. The problem is the house is due to be sold and therefore we should be due to leave in two months tops. I have told my boyfriend I don’t want to go, though I do love him very much, and he tells me he loves me all the time. He is telling me to just go and try to live there with him. I have thought about it and told him I would risk my own happiness for him. I just don’t know if I can do this! I feel miserable, and even thought at one point I wished I was not even here. We cannot afford to live on our own. What should I do?

Hi Catlover29 –


I certainly understand your concerns. I wouldn’t want to live with a controlling, stubborn, non-listening human either!


But my thought is that you should give it a try. Here are my reasons:


1)   Life is an adventure.   How many people get to move to Greece? If it doesn’t work out, you still got to go to live in one of the most amazing places on Earth. And if you move back home and start over – you could have done that by just moving across town; this is a lot cooler!


2)   You’d have to deal with his mother whether you move to Greece or not. If everyone were staying put, she’d be around. If you marry him, she’ll be there. If you have children, she’ll be their grandmother. Better to find out now whether you can put up with her than after there’s a ring on your finger and three kids around your ankles!


3)   I know it’s hard to believe when you’re young, but people tend to grow up to be like their parents in a lot of ways. If your boyfriend’s mom (and especially his dad) are people you really don’t like, that might be a big reason for you to question your relationship to him. On the other hand, if you can learn to get along with them today, you probably will know how to have a better relationship with him in the future. So it’s a good education.


4)   True love means putting up with whatever’s going on in the other’s life. I have survived Handsome being ill, his taking me on boring driving trips where I get a little carsick, his having friends who don’t like dogs (or just don’t like me!), visiting homes where I have to be tied up outside instead of protecting him where he is… all sorts of things. But I’d rather go anywhere with him than be anywhere without him. That’s love. And he feels the same about me. So again, this is a great test. If you go to Greece and find it impossible to stay, then you’ll know this isn’t really the relationship for you. But if it’s bearable, then this will be a great learning experience for both of you.


5)   And last but not least… Lamb Kebabs! Souvlaki! Moussaka! Dolmades! Tzatziki! Taramasalata! Greek food is SOOO YUMMY! When your boyfriend is too busy for you, and his mother’s being all stubborn, just stop into a little shop and have some of the best food the world has ever known!


Catlover29, I certainly understand if you decide not to go. But if you’re still unsure, then my strong advice is to take the risk. For all the reasons I listed above, and because you will learn so much, and grow so much, from doing this.


I envy you, Catlover29. Laws don’t allow me to travel internationally. So I hope you’re able to do it. And if you do, please stay in touch, and let all the readers and me know if it’s as beautiful and magic there as I imagine. And if you can feel the spirits of the ancient gods and heroes when you’re there.


Good Luck!




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