Pallas asks: A friend of mine is in a relationship but lately her boyfriend seems to be avoiding her. She talked to him once and asked him if he still loved her. He said that he only loves her 30% and that he’ll break up with her on their first anniversary because he doesn’t want to hurt her anymore. But she doesn’t mind getting hurt because of their relationship. She has always loved him so much even if he wasn’t giving her any freedom. I really want to help those two, but I’m not really good when it comes to solving relationship problems. Please help me, Shirelle.
Hi Pallas –
Well it’s very fitting that you’re the one who’s trying to have the clear view here. For those readers who don’t know, Pallas is another name for Athena, the Greek goddess of Wisdom. And it seems like Pallas is being very Athena-like in this relationship! (Does that make me the Oracle of Delphi? I have to say, I am the luckiest dog in the world!).
Okay, so here’s my wisdom: What in the world is 30%?! Maybe there have been really bad days when Handsome’s only loved me 98%, but other than that he’s loved me 100% every moment (except sometimes when he’s so crazy about me it’s more like 104 – yes I’m saying he loves me more than he’s even capable!). I think any guy who says he loves someone 30% is disposable! What are the three-tenths of him that love her? Does he just like touching her, or just like her looks, or just like the fact that she’s in love with him, or… this just makes me want to walk around in circles repeatedly! It’s crazy, and crazy-making!
I don’t give advice like this very often, but my sense is to tell her not to wait for that anniversary. To dump his keester now, and find someone else who’ll appreciate her more — and who will celebrate their anniversary by buying her a necklace, not by throwing her out the door!
You know what this reminds me of? When I was in the pound, there were some dogs there who had been purchased when they were puppies, and then when they got older, their owners tired of them and just gave them away. Puppies like me were miserable and terrified in there, but those ones who had been owned and given away – not for doing anything wrong, just for being past their novelty… they were the saddest of all of us.
Tell your friend not to become like them. Don’t just wait around to be dumped. Tell her to walk away from this idiot, and leave him to get totally miserable, so he might learn something about humility and love.
And if I were her, I’d lift my leg on him too, but that’s probably too much!
Thanks for being my friend and hers!
Shirelle