How to deal with gossiping friends

Beautiful asks: If you and your friend were talking about some girl, but you really didn’t say much, but your friend went back and told the girl, would you go back and talk to your friend after that? My friend did this more than one time. And we were really close – she was my twin – but she did this to me.

Hi Beautiful –


Well, the first thought I have is that there’s a certain poetic justice here – that you two were (I imagine) gossiping about the girl, and then you got hurt because you were being gossiped about.  So one thought I have is that you might want to stop hanging around gossips, like this friend.  After all, if she’ll talk about that other girl, isn’t it only natural that she’d also talk about you?


But on the other hand, you have every right to be hurt.  You trusted your friend with some things that you didn’t want to be repeated, and she betrayed that trust by repeating it.  So I would think that the best thing might be for you to go up to that friend and tell her exactly how she hurt you, and how she’s lost some of your trust.  And then stand back and see how she responds.  If she apologizes, and tries to see your side of the issue, then she’s still a friend, and you might become even closer through this.  But if she laughs at you, or rolls her eyes and says you’re wrong, that she was right to repeat what you said… then maybe she’s not really your friend anymore.


One thing about gossips – at some point, they usually become objects of scorn and derision, or worse, because of what they’ve done.  I’m guessing you don’t want to be treated badly like that.  So if this friend is going to continue to talk about people behind their backs, you might be best off avoiding her anyway.


Good Luck with it!


About the Author

Leave a Reply 0 comments

Leave a Reply: