vanshica asks: Hi! My son is 8 yrs old in III std. For the last month he has been very naughty. He does not obey his teachers, in class he doesn’t complete his work, and disturbs class every now and then. He was not like this before. I am very tense and worried. Please help me out.
Hi vanshica –
Okay, I’ve got two things for you here. First, every child goes through phases. And it’s possible that he’s just simply doing that – going through a strange period where he’s misbehaving and pushing boundaries all the time, and he’ll move past it soon and be the great kid he was (just like… remember when he was two?!).
But then there’s another thought. It sounds like it could be that he’s acting out because of something truly wrong. This sort of behavior is normal for children who have experienced a trauma or sudden change in their lives, such as their parents divorcing, losing someone close, or some sort of abuse.
So along with these two possibilities, I want you to do a few things. First, to, in as loving and accepting a way as you can, ask him if there’s anything that’s upsetting him, that he’s unhappy about, or that he wants to tell you.
If not, then I’d like you to simply remind him that you’re there for him and love him, but that his actions do have consequences, and so if he keeps misbehaving, he’ll probably keep getting bad reactions from people.
And then, see what happens. If it’s just a phase, he’ll probably come through it pretty quickly. But it would be good if you keep reminding him that you’re there for him, and would love him to tell you anything that’s bothering him. (And please, when he does tell you anything, if it sounds like it’s not that important, don’t put it down by saying “oh no, I’m looking for something way bigger than that someone stole your pencil today.” You’re trying to get him to open up, and he’ll need to believe you care about everything to do that, so give his concerns all the credit you can.)
But if nothing’s changed for a few months… then I really would urge you to find someone for him to talk with. If you have access to a good child therapist, that would be the best; but if you don’t, some other sort of counselor can work fine.
And of course, I’m always a big fan of getting a kid a dog! Whatever he’s going through, whether it’s just a phase or something really big, we’re always good for helping him through it!