Lilies asks: I am in a relationship with a guy and I love him so much, and I know he loves me too, but recently I saw a post on Facebook — a girl said she is in relationship with him! I ask him about it and he said the girl is his cousin. I asked the girl too; she just said the guy never mentioned my name before in any of their chats. I don’t want to lose him. What do I do?!
Hi Lilies –
Hmmm… You know that feeling you get sometimes when you go out at night for a walk and to pee on a bush somewhere, and nothing is clearly wrong but you just get that feeling? Your ears pick up, the fur on your back rises slightly, and you just don’t want to step forward because there’s just something that’s off? (Well, it’s probably a little different for you humans, but that’s what it’s like for me) Your letter makes me feel the same way, Lilies. What was it that Hamlet said? “There’s something rotting in state at the dog park” or something like that? I don’t know what is off, but something is out of kilter here.
I have a bunch of questions, and if you haven’t already, my advice would be to start finding out the answers to them.
1) Is she actually his cousin? Do you know other friends or family of his, who could tell you? You wouldn’t have to tell why you’re asking, just casually say “I heard they were related; is that true?”
2) If she is his cousin, why is she saying they’re “in a relationship?” Handsome has a lot of cousins in his “friends” list on Facebook, and none of them say they’re “in a relationship” with him. I’ve talked on here before about the fact that, of course, you literally are in a relationship with everyone in the world… but that’s not what the term “in a relationship” usually means there.
3) Is it possible that she just wishes she was in a relationship with him? That’s actually kind of a compliment to you. But that still doesn’t explain why he wouldn’t tell you about that.
4) Is he a shy guy who doesn’t talk about you with his friends and family? Or is he hiding something?
5) Is it possible for you to get the three of you together? Do you all go to the same school or work in the same place? Because that would do the very best – if you and she could be standing there and get him to tell who he’s with and what he’s doing, that could clear the air a lot.
Those are my initial thoughts. But please let me know what happens – I’m really interested!
Thanks,
Shirelle