What to do when someone gives you mixed signals

Pennelope0214 asks: So more about that boy I wrote you about before. We had a college DJ night the other day. First day he was all good telling me I look hot and all. The second day I was drunk, he didn’t come to me. But when I stopped dancing and was standing in a corner he came to me and asked me what’s wrong, I said that one of my friends said I’m smelling, he told me is nothing and come dance (He doesn’t like girls drinking). The other day we were in a lounge for a friend’s party, I didn’t drink that time. When we were returning back, he wrapped around me in a cab. We had great time together when I was not drunk. Day before yesterday, he made me jealous by going to tea with another girl when we used to go together; he didn’t even call me. But yesterday, he was all dressed up in formals, asked me for tea and then for a walk. Which I did but still jealous and kinda upset. It’s like he takes all the attention at once and gives it back whenever he desires. The first thing, if he liked me why would he make me jealous and the second thing, if he didn’t like me why would he try to change me by asking me to stop my bad habits?

Hi Pennelope0214 –

 

Well, I’m up a tree too; I have no idea what he wants or doesn’t.

With one exception: it’s extremely clear this boy cares about you a lot. He doesn’t like drinking (at least you say he doesn’t like girls drinking; does he think it’s okay for boys but not girls? I hate these double-standards; it’s like when I get told all the time “This is people food, go eat what’s in your bowl.” I mean, I like what’s in the bowl, but why can’t I have chocolate pudding and onions and a chicken drumstick?! [Okay, I actually do know why I’m not allowed those, but it’s still REALLY frustrating!]).

I mentioned in my earlier answer to you that he might just feel a brother-sister thing with you, and this would fit that. But then he’s WAY more physically affectionate (SOMETIMES) than siblings would be. So what in the world are you supposed to do?!

I have to stick with my thoughts from before. That you should figure out if you want to just make yourself interesting to him, or actually make a move to test his interest.

And I say this to humans all the time: my biggest advice on this is to try to NOT FEEL SOMETHING’S WRONG WITH YOU if he’s not interested. NOTHING is wrong with you! There are people who love to play with me and let me lick their faces, and people who can’t stand to touch me. That’s all about THEM, not about me. I am the same pooch with both. So is this guy a petter who wants face-licks from you, or is he frightened you might get hairs on his suit? I don’t know, but you’re the only one who can find out!

 

If you don’t feel like trying, I do understand. But that might mean you’re stuck with a lot of these DJ nights!

 

Either way, I wish you the best of luck! What I really hope is that he shows up and plants a big kiss on YOU, which would answer everything all at once!

 

Cheers,
Shirelle

 

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